Of Gods, Men and Monsters
by Mountain King
Summary: The greatest Doctor Who villains and companions are pitted against Stargate SG1 in a series of short stories.
1. Strange Conversations

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Introduction:  
Okay this is the beginning of a series of shorts involving SG-1 and Doctor Who. The key part of all this is I'm not involving the Doctor but his enemies. This and a couple of other stories in this section (T.V. crossovers) are all supposed to be in the same... well universe really but they don't actually have any impact on each other. That may change, but not yet.

Disclaimer:-  
All characters and monsters from Doctor Who are owned by the BBC (save the Daleks, who I have to use one day, they are co-owned by the estate of Terry Nation)

All Stargate owned by Gecko and MGM, who ever they are.

* * *

Strange Conversations

Sam had gone ahead of the rest of the team. She had finished her after-action report ahead of everyone else and Janet still hadn't lifted her order that she wasn't allowed near anything with more technology than her own watch.

So Sam had almost worked herself to death the fourth time that year, it was August. What about all those times she shelved projects for save the world plans? She had to finish them some time. Who else was going to do it, the Colonel?

That thought almost made her shiver in fear. It was was just then that HE sat opposite.

Sam had never seen him before, his high black collar had some sort of silver thread pattern unmatched anywhere in his harsh, almost perfect black, velvet jacket. Long fingers putting down a glass with a shot of whisky motionless inside. Not even his pitch black hair had a single silver defect. The stranger had a soft smile behind his trim, almost perfect, goatee beard.

'Erm... Someone's going to be sitting there.'

'Oh that's okay, I won't be long.' The smile never left his face. 'So you are?' he asked in a clipped English accent and almost smug, gloating, tone.

'Major Carter, US Air Force.' It wasn't the first time someone had tried to pick her up. It was the first time an English man tried it, but that usually scared them off. Even ones as charming as him. Charming? Where the hell did that come from? 'Samantha...' her voice trailed off. Everything else in the bar became muffled, blurry like they were on the other side of a dirty window.

'What do you do in that mountain of yours.' He paused before breathing her name; 'Samantha.'

'We have a Stargate. It's a device we use to travel to other planets. It...'

'Oh I know of it, ridiculous little devices for ignorant savages. However did you primitives learn it's workings?' The glass rocked in his other hand as he waved off her description, amber liquid swirling absently in its bottom. It was fascinating to Sam, much more than that nagging feeling something was wrong.

'I... I made a super computer It was difficult but I was able to build an interface. I'm really quite proud of it.' Sam smiled.

He laughed a slight little laugh, the room became warmer, the shadows more oppressive. 'Very clever my dear,' With his free hand he took one of hers 'Very clever, but what of the Goa'uld?'

'We fight them. It's difficult but we don't bite off more than we can chew. They are mostly fighting each other more than they worry about us.'

'Hum.' He let go of her and stroked his beard. 'And who helps you with this.'

'What?' She asked. Yes that nagging feeling really was annoying.

His look became intent, voice cruel and his eyes burned. 'What allies do you have? What aliens help you against them?'

Sam found herself blinking, almost recoiling back but his unflinching glare held her still. 'We have a few friends, Some jaffa that have rebelled, We just made contact with the Tok'Ra...'

His face softened again eyes twinkling but quite suddenly some part of her mind woke up. She could tell something was happening and as much as she would like to fool herself he was in complete control 'No one else? No other governments know of what you have here? No Doctors?'

'No, its just us. We don't want to panic people.' Her own voice was hollow, slow and distant. Like a rumble of far off thunder.

The bar, so distant and vague just fell away, it was only the two of them in this little alcove. Alone. Sam's mind was fully awake now, but helpless. 'Listen to me carefully Samantha Carter; when I leave you will not remember this little talk we had. When we meet again you will recognise me as an old friend and trust me. Implicitly.'

Her mouth moved, 'I will.' she heard her voice say the words and knew that they might as well be carved onto her very mind in stone for all she could change them.

'Goodbye my dear.' The man left, taking his glass with him. There she sat alone for eternity.

'Carter? Yo Major' The Colonel waved a hand in front of her.

Startled Sam jumped back 'Sir? When did you get here?'

'About two minutes ago. Where were you?'

She had no idea. 'Sorry sir. Must have been lost in thought.'

'Lost is right.' Daniel said, standing next to her. 'What were you thinking about?'

Sliding over she gave her friend room to sit down. 'Don't know, mustn't have been important.' Sam shrugged, shaking the feeling she was being watched for a fraction of a instant.

* * *

The Master took a sniff from his glass, an inferior brand. Only a select few were worth the effort, very much like humans themselves. Leaving the untouched drink behind he left the crowed establishment, using his abilities to cloud the minds of those that saw him. So pathetically easy, even the intelligent ones. He cast a glance at his new puppet before sliding out of the building's door.

Ahh well it always paid to know just what was going on, especially on this backwards little planet and a Stargate could be very useful. In the right circumstances. Perhaps a few more visits, just to check up and to keep the pretty young Major under his thumb, as it were.

With that thought the Master allowed himself a chuckle, stepping down a back ally the renegade Time Lord re-entered his TARDIS. The first parts of a plan forming in the back of his mind.

End Strange Conversations

Authors note:-

I wrote this one in the style of Forge 2 's wonderful Master crossovers. Where the Master in various guises makes alliances with all sorts of bad guys from every where you can think of. Have a look for them, they deserve to be read by any good Doctor Who fan. Also, while most of these don't need a time frame I put this early in Stargate Season 3, it felt better there.

Next short The Autons


	2. Statues in the Lonley City

Statues in the Lonely City

Authors Note:-  
Just to let you know the "Master" Story-line WILL be continued, but not here and not just yet. I think I'd better get something else finished before I start another story don't you?

Disclaimer:-  
I own non of the characters used here but because I don't make any money there shouldn't be a reason to sue me or make a fuss, surely...

* * *

Jack stepped down the little ramp leading from the Stargate, the city in front of him was smoking. Ruined buildings were husks and at least two sky scrapers had collapsed. 'Whoa, what happened here?' he asked no one in particular as he brought his P90 up, scanning the river side.

'There appears to have been an attack O'Neill.' Teal'c said as the gate shut down. Last week SG-1 had visited the planet, made contact with the locals and had a rare "not being shot at or shooting at anything" mission. The sort other teams had. SG-5 was sent, the diplomats and geeks, to open negations. Two reports and then nothing. Not just no reports but nothing, no contact what so ever.

'Sir' Carter called. 'We've found something.' Behind him, to the park and the rest of the city he saw what she was talking about. The park was full of dead people, it looked like they were fleeing from something. Scattered across the open green, men women and children, all lying dead at the feet of what looked like plastic statues.

'They look like shop window dummies.' Daniel said before poking one. It rocked back and then forward. SG-1's pet geek got out of the way as it fell, head tumbling off as it hit the ground.

'What have we said about not touching things?' Jack said as his heart got out out of his mouth.

'Ja...' he started but the Colonel stopped him with a glare. The four of them walked across the killing fields. Dodging in between the shop window dummies Jack saw U.S. BDU's amongst the dead.

It was Major Hawks, SG-5 "baby-sitter". The luckless Air Force officer who was landed with the geeks. 'Over here.' Jack called and the rest of the team flocked to him

'Looks like the same as everyone else. Some sort of polymer based impact weapon, extremely powerful and, well, hot.' Carter said examining the corpse

'Hot?' Daniel asked at the same time as him.

As Jack winced Carter slightly shook her head and got back on with her gruesome job. 'As best as I can guess who ever did this used a case-less, self-propelled projectile. It tore through the Kevlar like a close range .44 round.'

'Ouch.' Jack winced, that was not something he wanted to hear. Sure it wasn't on par with "Teal'c has taken up opera lessons, would you like to hear some?" but someone with rocket guns tearing through a city full of civilians was not a good sign

'What?' Daniel had to ask.

'In other words these people took the equivalent of a Magnum hot-load at point blank range. No body armour in the galaxy could take that impact, you'd need a Goa'uld force shield to survive.' Carter said.

'I guess prisoners aren't high on these peoples list' Jack looked over the garden filled with statues.

'Indeed not. Major Carter what are these figures?' T asked

'Could be the effect some sort of weapon. She guessed.'

'Or they could be the ones that did it.' Jack joked before the whole team stopped. Even the faint breeze amongst the leaves was silent. Looking back more than a score of them were between SG-1 and the 'gate. 'uh oh.'

'Is it just me or are there more of them now than before?' Daniel said easing his pistol out of its holster. At least the Space-monkey was using his brain for something other than geeking.

Jack heard the click of a P90's safety catch. Cater was ready too, good. Not for the first time Jack was glad he'd done that before leaving the SGC. It was only paranoia when everyone wasn't out to get you, other wise it was called being careful. 'All right, lets slowly make our way back to the ga...GAK'

A strong, rough, hand caught his neck. One of the statues had moved like lightning. Lifting Jack off the ground the Colonel cocked and fired his P90 before his feet had even left the grass. The machine gun kicked. The arm shuddered. But the grip never changed.

He heard the "thwap" of Teal'c's staff firing. It was at point blank range in the plastic guys face. Jack could feel the heat from the bolt as the head exploded. Still nothing.

Giving up on shooting the thing Jack tried to break the grip around his windpipe. The edge of his vision was greying and he was beginning to see stars. Carter's P90 kicked in and tore the arm apart at the shoulder.

With Daniel supporting him Jack hacked out a breath. 'O'Neill!' Looking up Jack saw all of the damned things start moving. Like stiff legged zombies hundreds of the damn things pouring out of the city.

'Awe hell. Run!' He managed to say, grabbing his gun from where it swung and firing at leg height. With a bit of luck they could make it.

* * *

General George Hammond sighed. Up in his office he had this years expenses budget to sign and next years to argue out with the bean counters who wanted proof that the money was being spent wisely. Stuck up accountants, next time they asked about one more cut he'd throw them through the Gate into a black hole. Or ask Teal'c to sing to them.

Fortunately this little emergency meant he could get away from it. Missing personnel. Sure it could just be that their radios were broken but anything was better than what waited for him. 'Incoming wormhole!' Walter shouted as the inner ring started spinning. They were early.

In the case of SG-1 that meant one thing. 'All defence teams to the gate room!' George shouted into the microphone. No sooner had the gate opened that SG-1 code skittered across the screen. 'open the iris.' he nodded.

The four members of SG-1 threw themselves through the gate. Jack was still firing, Major Carter reloading and Teal'c half carrying Dr Jackson who had a ugly wound on his leg. 'Close it up.' Major Carter shouted as a single figure got through.

George couldn't believe what he was seeing. The attacker was a mannequin, The fingers on its' right hand hinged off and a short black tube in the hollow hand. SG-1 jumped over the railings of the Gate ramp, Jack still pointing his gun even though it had run dry of ammo.

The defence teams opened up, ten men armed with assault rifles, and did nothing. The bullets bouncing off the iris doing as much as those that hit. Whatever it was extended the hollow hand and a tongue of flame came out. Before the gate closed three guards had been killed by the silent monster.

As the dancing lights died and the Stargate shut down Teal'c was back on his feet. A staff blast destroyed the deadly hand and something strange happened. The plastic creature began jerking wildly, as if it was having some form of attack before collapsing. It's head rolled off bouncing once, twice and stopping at the bottom of the ramp.

Doctor Fraiser and her medical team rushed in. After a moment they were carting Daniel and a single wounded guard out. Rushing out of the control room George confronted SG-1 'What the hell happened?'

Jack merely jerked his thumb at Major Carter. 'Sir,' she said. 'The whole city was swarming with those things. We didn't what they were at first then they came to life.'

I believe they were attempting to capture us General Hammond. Daniel Jackson was injured as they tried to stop us escaping.' Teal'c supplied.

Casting a glance at Jack George saw a red mark covering his neck. 'Colonel?'

With a few quick gestures George got the impression something had gotten hold of the Colonel and he would like to go to the infirmary. 'Go. I'm locking the address out of the dialling computer.'

'Sir, that's a bad idea.' The major said quickly. Jack simply mimed an explosion.

'You think we should send a nuke?'

The Major couldn't agree fast enough, Teal'c rumbled out an; 'Indeed.' and Jack croaked out 'Two!'

If George was honest, after seeing what one monster had done, he had to agree. 'Right. We'll do it immediately. I'll have a full security team lock that up for study. We'll debrief after you get checked out.'

End Statues in the Lonely City.

There we go, that was quite fun actually. So coming soon, are all sorts of fun and games. I have ideas for the Cybermen, Daleks, Weeping Angels and a few companions but next we have a friendly one;

Teal'c Vs K-9. "Affirmative, Indeed"

Mountain King


	3. One Jaffa and his Tin Dog

One Jaffa and his Tin Dog

Lieutenant-Colonel Carter flashed him a nervous smile. Teal'c knew how uncomfortable she was about the situation. Alex Carlson was a good man who had made mistakes, it was not honourable to discredit him like this. He agreed with his team mates that one day the Stargate would become public knowledge to the people of the Tau'ri. He also knew were that to happen with the threat of a Goa'uld attack still possible. Mankind would panic as surely at the Goa'uld would exploit the situation.

The Lieutenant-Colonel moved a few control stones on an Asguard console, picked up a hastily cobbled together Earth-based remote and stepped out onto the podium. She was in front of a small hall filled with reporters and video cameras and Teal'c did not envy here ask. Alex Carlson did not believe his people would panic so he had tried to force the Tau'ri governments to admit the truth. He forgot that people on mass are only as intelligent as the most foolish. Hence this deception.

Using Asguard hologram technology the SGC had discredited Alex Carlson's evidence, a cloned Asguard. Shortly there after a cabal of wealthy men on Earth, known as The Trust, destroyed Alex Carlson's life's work. Hoping to one day gain control of the power of the stargate for their own means. Tearing down the company from the inside helped them work in secret. While Teal'c had not mourned this turn of events he could see Lieutenant-Colonel Carter did.

Still their own deception had yet to finish. Not only were they forced to accept The Trust's cowardly victory but also convince the world that the hologram technology was possible but not viable. The result was this press conference. 'Hello and welcome.' Lieutenant-Colonel Carter shuffled her note papers again. In front of her were specially selected reporters and news broadcasters from around the world. Teal'c did not envy her task today.

Luckily his was much simpler. It was, as O'Neill put it, moral support. The hall was already covered by SGC personnel and outside was equally secure. As Lieutenant-Colonel Carter began explaining the technology and how, fictionally, it was co-developed by Carlson Industries Teal'c relaxed. Once his friend got started she would be fine.

It was then he heard a strange sound. It was a light purr of gears and something else, then the backstage door swung silently open. He saw, from the corner of his eye, what happened and spun. In the door frame was something.

A fair sized, trapezoid, box coming to knee height. It was the colour of metallic blue and one or two patches of faint rust. At the front was an odd shaped head that was vaguely reminiscent of a canines. A distinct tension settled in the room, whatever this thing was it was not from the Tau'ri or Goa'uld false gods.

Teal'c could also tell it was studying him, the panel of red light was focused intently on him. 'Species:- Not hum-an.' it suddenly broke the silence. The voice was lilting but mechanical. Almost like a robotic child but not quite. As it spoke two little aerials on its "head" rotated. 'Ana-lysing.' it said almost cheerfully and a disk imbedded in its glowing red plate extended.

Whatever this thing really was Teal'c couldn't take the risk. Glad that his first reaction had hid hand resting on the hip holster he slowly eased the Zat out and into his palm. As he did so the disk retracted. Neither of them moved and teal'c's grip tightened. 'Identified. Species Jaf-fa. Slave race to Go-a'ul-d.' It spoke up, the aerials spinning even faster. 'No Pa-ra-site detected. Physionic scan detects no Go-a'ul-d in range.'

'I am a free Jaffa. I fight with the Tau'ri to defeat the false gods.' Teal'c tapped the activation stud and drew his Zat at the same time. 'What are you?'

Teal'c almost missed the small black rod extending from what would be a hounds nose, not taking any chances he fired. The robot animal was quicker. A red glow struck Teal'c harmlessly. Firing back he was, for one of the very rare times in his long life, shocked. The Zat gave a little groan and folded back up.

'Weapon, neu-tral-ised. I am K-9. My Mistress ord-ered me to find the hologram pro-ject-ion de-vice. It is not Go-a'ul-d.'

'Your mistress, she is one of the reporters?' Even without threats this K-9 was programmed to answer questions. It was obvious, now, this was some form of robotic aid. Just where it had come from and who built it was interesting.

'Affirmative' it chirped.

Casting a look back he saw that Lieutenant-Colonel Carter had gotten to the point where she activated the hologram. This one based on herself. The Asguard console glowed and began projecting. 'As-guard hologram de-vice' K-9 directed his attention to it. 'Theory con-firmed. U-nited states acc-ess to As-guard tech-nol-ogy. Possi-bility of treaty increased to; eighty-five point six per-cent. Possi-bility of Star-gate tech-nol-ogy; one hundred per-cent.'

Teal'c got the feeling that whoever built this thing knew EXACTLY what they were doing. 'Who built you?'

'The Doctor-Master.' It was at this point Teal'c got the sinking feeling where his symbiotic pouch used to be.

'What was the doctor's name?'

'The Doctor-Master.' Only one being in the universe would dare to go by the single honorific "doctor". The being know as the Oncoming Storm. His presence was the sign of great things to come, of terrible things. Every Jaffa First Prime was briefed to watch for a strange man accompanied by humans. Described as a devil in disguise they were to flee if they ever encountered him. The description was of many different disguises. Each wild and strange.

Long before he had fell into the service of the Tau'ri Teal'c had witnessed one of this particular devils disguises. A tall well dressed man with white, curling, hair. He had used a Goa'uld solar shield to defend a village from attack. Teal'c and his battalion were sent to find out what happened. The Doctor's modified shield had repelled them, even on foot. To this day the people were still defended by that shield and no Goa'uld could penetrate it.

Teal'c knew that the Doctor had been on Earth. He knew he had contacts on this world. Now he also knew he had left people, and creations, to help guard it.

* * *

Sam was so relived she almost wasn't' angry that Teal'c had vanished. She was also very worried that he had. The conference had been marginally horrible, the embarrassment when the hologram broke down was only half acted. God, half the respectable journalists in the world and it looked like she Fubar-ed it all up.

On the plus side she wouldn't have to do it again. Other than a few of her peers who, so far hadn't' even gotten half as far with holograms, all it would be used for was further evidence. The only thing that made the day complete would be getting the hell out of there and back to the SGC. If the General had stared playing with her equipment again...

'Oh I'm sorry. Hello.' It was one of the reporters. English from her slight accent but Sam couldn't really tell her age. She looked to be a lot younger than the impression she gave. The woman's small stature could have had something to do with it. 'Sarah-Jane Smith.' She introduced herself.

Damn it, she must be one hell of a reporter. Sure most of the SGC guards had left (protecting the Asguard equipment) but there was still enough around here. '...I'm sorry. I don't...'

'Oh no, I'm not after an interview. I'm just waiting for my dog.' she laughed.

'Your dog...' That sort of threw Sam's train of thought of the rails. Who would bring a dog to a international news conference on cutting edge technology?

'Yes. I know I shouldn't have brought him, he's been having trouble recently but he is terribly independent and slightly over protective.' she looked a little worried. Sam could see why, what sort of impression was this woman giving talking about a dog like it was person.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the back door to the conference hall. 'Are you sure your dog is in there?'

'Oh yes he... he's getting a bit old and doesn't like the weather out there.'

'You have a very strange dog.'

'I have a very strange life.' she smiled back.

Sam couldn't agree more. 'You know I'm waiting for a friend. He might have come across your dog and be trying to find you.'

An almost exaggerated look of horror flickered across the elder woman's face. 'Oh. That could be interesting...'

The door opened and Teal'c was on the other side. He nodded and held the door open. then another voice piped up:- 'Mistress. They were using asguard ho-lo-gram tech-nol-ogy, as I sus-pected.' Looking down a large section of Sam's brain told her she was looking at an autonomous robotic dog. The smaller section devoted to common sense and logic quickly tried to jump out of her right ear.

the woman knelt down, talking to her dog. 'Oh but they are friendly, right?'

'Affirmative.' the dog chirped, its head bobbing up and down.

'Your dog's a robot. Where do you get a robotic dog from, and why?' Sam asked. She saw Teal'c smugly grin, out of the corner of her eye.

Miss Smith stood up. 'Oh he was a gift from a friend, my daft little tin dog.' she laughed lightly.

'Affirmative, mistress.'

'K-9, this is Lieutenant-Colonel Samantha Carter.'

It spun in place and for the first time Sam noticed the "K 9" stencilled on its side 'Greetings, mistress.' the robot dog said to her. The thing was voice programmed, fairly advanced for a "daft tin dog".

'Well we better get you back home, our plane leaves soon. Goodbye, it was nice meeting you.'

'Same here.' Sam was still distracted by the idea of a robotic dog but was polite enough to answer.

'Indeed.' Teal'c half bowed.

K-9 looked up, it's "ears" spinning. 'Good-bye.' Turning on the spot Sam watched it and the woman leave. The dogs tail springing around very much like a natural dogs would.

'It disabled my Zat gun.' Teal'c muttered.

Sam frowned at him. 'What?' it couldn't be what it sounded like...

'K-9 used it's own weapon to disable my sidearm.'

Sam looked back. I get the feeling we need to do some research on a Sarah-Jane Smith.'

'Affirmative.' Teal'c mimicked the dog before shaking his head, 'I meant, indeed.'

Looking back on it, it was a bad joke. The General must be having a bad influence on her. With a little laugh Sam replied 'Un-der-stood.'

End One Jaffa and his Tin Dog

Authors note.  
As I promised one reviewer it will be the Weeping Angels next. Daniel's research into king Arthur and Merlin takes him to some strange places... And after that I think I'll do a chapter with the whole of SG-1 (more or less).

With editing, it took me three days to write this. I literally spent most of that time talking like K-9... "Un-til next time. Good-bye."


	4. A Normal Day

Of Gods, Men and Monsters.  
Another Normal Day

Daniel entered the library. The English Lord had a couple of the books he was after. He also was able to point him in the direction of another library. Mostly the usual books and material but there was supposed to be a privet back room. A reference library with some very old pieces. He walked to the main desk.

The young woman at the desk looked up and smiled. 'Oh hello. Need some help?' She had a south London accent, something he expected to find. Then again something he didn't expect was how new the building was. Clean wide corridors that looked about two years old. Hardly the gothic Victorian building he expected, from the infamous collection.

'Thanks, I'm looking for your reference room. Lord Wyndam-Pryce said you might be able to help...' he trailed off, this really was a long shot but it beat a weekend at Jack's cabin in the woods. Watching Mitchell dance around General Landry might be fun in small doses but two days of it?

At least this way whatever goes wrong will do so without him. "Oh yes. I got the the call. Sure, they said you could have a look. Just don't take anything out. They get their knickers in a knot upstairs when they can't find a book' The young woman smiled, stepped out from around the counter and led him to another section of the library.

"Oh no, I've just come to make some notes.' The building might be new but they had one of the finest collections of ancient texts. And while it might be private you can't amass this much without someone finding out. Entry here was by invitation only and back when Daniel was working on his papers, the ones about the pyramids and aliens, he would have killed to get in here.

As the woman led him to an elevator he realised that a "Back Room" meant something a little more extensive. As the doors closed he though he saw something. A brief flicker of movement, like a shadow but it was too quick.

They when down a floor, there were two basements and four upper floors. That was strange, the building had looked a lot bigger on the outside. Daniel realised it was and why when he got into the Legends floor. The whole floor had a double level, a massive mezzanine balcony all around. 'Arthrian legends are just over here. Secondary sources are on the bottom, primary archives up there.' she pointed. There was a book-ladder and another elevator that got you to the books he wanted.

'Thank you.' Daniel said politely. 'I understand that I'm only supposed to be here and that I'm not allowed on anywhere else.'

'I was just going to say that. Sorry but I don't make the rules. I've got to stay with you too.'

He was there for a few hours. Checking and re-reading the four books he needed. Those and the other two he had read from Lord Wyndam-Pryce, six books in total. Boy if the gang ever heard how much resources and favours he had to call in for six books he couldn't even take with him.

Thing was these were the only known copies, all the other books were secondary sources. The myths mixed up or little bit's miss translated. You couldn't trust them, least of all when it came to King Arthur. The shear amount of rubbish printed was massive and you needed to dig through it to find the important parts. The young lady was bored stiff. What she was doing working in a library when she couldn't find the fun in academic pursuits.

He didn't let her impatience rush him, too much experience with Jack really, but when she started her gymnastics practice. That was a worry, the girl stared balancing off book cases and bannisters just for the fun of it. 'Right I've finished copying and making notes on it all. Is it alright if I finish going over them upstairs. Where you don't have to watch me.'

'That would be cool.' She grinned. Upstairs was still more or less empty but Daniel could get his work done without anyone worrying, or him worrying someone was going to brake their neck.

Upstairs was, if anything less crowded than before. 'Huh must be a quiet day.' his guide shrugged before heading back to her desk. 'I'll be over there if you need me. If there's anything you missed give me a shout. You've got a pass down there for the rest of the day anyway.' She put down the notice on the table and sat down. ahh she was more interested in the fiction book she had been reading. That made sense her in a library.

'Thanks.' he said to her and began triple checking his notes. It all looked right, the key to translating this sort of stuff wasn't getting it in English as quickly as possible. It was to copy the original notes as exactly as possible and then come up with as many different versions as possible.

He couldn't have been there for more than an hour before he caught a look at the time. It was late, a little past ten at night. The library was supposed to be closed nine thirty. He must have been forgotten, not for the first time. But the lights were all still on.

Maybe he'd spent too long with the air force but a dozen or so old wounds he'd collected over the years were itching. A bit odd given it was a new body for more than half of those. Thing was that only happened when something bad was about to happen...

'Don't move!' someone shouted. A woman with short blond hair was staring at him. No not him just to his left...

'Whoa! Where the hell did that come from?' It was a stone statue of an angel. Pretty good one too, only odd thing was the eyes and teeth. They weren't that angelic. The really worrying thing was what Daniel could see in the face, he could feel there was something there. Like it was alive.

'What's your name?' the woman asked.

Erm... My name? Jackson. Daniel Jackson.' She hadn't taken her eyes off the statue.

'Sally Sparrow. Now I'm going to look around if there are anymore of these things. I need you to trust me, stare at this one. Don't take your eyes off it and don't blink, whatever you do don't blink.'

Listening to the sound of her voice he knew she was both frightened and deadly serious. Doing as he was told he kept his ears open for what she was doing. 'Why?'

He heard her running around, he could tell she was about a inch away from screaming and running for her life. 'They're called the Weeping Angels. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Just remember to keep looking at it. If you blink it moves and kills you.'

'So as long as someone is looking...'

'It's stuck as stone.' she finished. Stone. Great. How did he get involved in this sort of thing? It was only a couple of moments but by the end of it Daniel's eyes were about ready to fall out. 'It's clear. If there was anyone else in here though, it got them.'

'There was.' He said bitterly, getting up he shoved his notes into his bag and gripped the Zat gun hidden in there. 'I didn't hear a thing.' He bit out, he'd been there hours and something had been stalking people. He guessed Vala was right, with his head in a book the universe could end and he wouldn't notice.

'You don't. These guys are quiet, too quiet and if you do see them.'

He finished. This was going to be fun he thought bitterly 'They're stone so you only think once about them. How do we get away?'

'Good question. Moment we turn it's fast enough to get us both.'

Daniel made the decision to shoot. The consequences were going to be a pain but that was the price of his lack of observance 'Or not. I've got a gun, if I shoot it I can kill it.'

'It's a stone, you can't kill a stone.' She snapped.

'Just don't be surprised.' Daniel pulled the Zat. 'If your right and this doesn't work getting distracted might just wake it up.'

'Okay we'll try it your way.' She wasn't sure. Daniel didn't take his eyes off it...

* * *

Sally tried not to make the cup shake. Damn coffee sloshing about and trying to scald her. The man opposite, Daniel, tried to smile some support. 'Thanks. For saving my life.' He looked at her. 'Are you alright?'

They had retreated to a coffee shop across the street and a few doors down. The man had called a few "contacts" he said he had to help deal with the problem. 'No I thought we had got them all. Either we missed one or... or it got out And how did you do that?'

Four ominous black cars passed and parked at the library, each one screaming "government operatives on board". 'Afraid it's a secret. How you know about those things.'

'Secret.' she managed to smile at him. In many ways this stunk of something very bad. 'You tell me yours I'll tell you mine?'

He grinned and shook his head. 'So is what you were doing there a secret too?' He wasn't going to answer. Big surprise there.

'No. I run a rare book and DVD shop with my fiancée. I do the books, he does the disks. A friend of mine suggested that place might be good to have look around. I saw that one and lost it again, just outside. Then I found you in there. What were you doing?'

'Making use of the reference library. I was looking for writings about Arthur and Camelot. I'm an archaeologist and a linguist working on a theory. Doctor Daniel Jackson.'

Taking a drink she mumbled into the coffee. 'Seems wherever those things turn up there's a Doctor involved.'

'Huh?' Both eyebrows raised in unison.

She made a mental note to do some research on this Dr Jackson. 'Nothing. So what's an American archaeologist doing in the middle of London with a lightning gun?'

'I use it for starting camp fires. It's got a few other features but...' As if she was going to fall for that. He must have guessed she wouldn't and laughed it off. 'Tell you what; you saw how subtle that lot were.' He thumbed the "agents" running around. 'Tell you what. I'll keep your name out of it as a favour and you don't... you know.'

I'm not the paranoid one in the family. Sure I can do that. You'll have my phone tapped and everything anyway.'

He tried to smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. 'I don't really find this sort of thing comfortable but that wasn't human in there. Probably not even from this planet and you knew about it. A lot more than I did and I doubt you just read about them in a few rare books.'

'You're right. There's not much you can do is there?' A few hundred worst case scenarios came up. Sally always wondered if something like this would happen.

'I'll do what I can, you won't be arrested or anything like that. Just a few difficult questions and your life under a microscope for a bit.'

'Thanks. Hey I'll tell you something, I did get a few old volumes on Merlin a couple of days ago. They're a bit battered and expensive but if they're any use...' she glanced at the "Agents" Two of them were waiting outside.

'I guess its worth a look.' then he caught her glance. 'Don't worry the Arthur stuff is just a hobby of mine but work seems to follow me everywhere.'

'I know the feeling. It's just the reverse for me.' Sally joked back.

End Another Normal Day


	5. Interlude 1

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Interlude:-  
A gauntlet is but a challenge wrapped in an iron fist

Authors Note:-  
Now before we go any further I think we need something to give us all a break. and maybe an answer to one or two questions.

Its only short, but all good premises should be.

* * *

Summer 2004, in the ether dimension between life and death. Something rages. A great mass of power and hatred bashed at the barriers between dimensions. Again. Again it had been thwarted and struck down. The power it had expended on this last attempt would take time to recover. Time here, alone, with no victims to slaughter or beings to torment.

'Ahem. I do hope I'm not interrupting.' It whirled, focusing on the intruder. It was a short man, his hat and umbrella casting a familiar shadow.

'You!' The First bellowed in vain. He was still on the wrong side of death. Right where the meddling Time Lord had left him a decade and half ago. 'You have come to gloat.' The man stood on the opposite side of the barrier, invincible against its might.

'Fenric, I have come to witness, nothing more. It was not I that defeated you this time. It was your game. You lost by your own rules.'

'The time for games is long over Time Lord. I will destroy that miserable planet you care so much for, you have my word on it.'

'All you ever do is play games. You can't resist them can you? You could have had your little minions drag anyone off the street and butcher them to open that seal. Instead you pick the one vampire. It's all those traps you lay isn't it? That is all you really care about, all part of the game.'

The First simply growled.

'And vampires again? Really Fenric I would have expected more imagination. Then again that was always your problem wasn't it? You couldn't imagine enough to defeat me. Not even now.'

The God was gloating about something he had no part in 'You didn't defeat me Time Lord! You said it yourself.'

'Really? A soul is so hard to come by wouldn't you say. You fell into my trap again and all I had to do was deliver the right one to a little piece of your puzzle.'

'The vampire. Spike... It was you. You gave him a soul and with it the weapon. The power to destroy the hellmouth!' The last pieces fell in place and the final scope of the trap known. Again the First Evil, once called Fenric and a thousand other names across history, battered at the barrier.

'Yes. Like a single rock that causes a land side. The noise that precedes the avalanche and causes all your hard work to be buried.'

'Buried but not forgotten. The Games continue Doctor. THE GAMES WILL CONTINUE!'

'Then collect your chess set Fenric. Gather your players and set your table. I'll be ready for you.' Tapping his umbrella to his hat the Time Lord strode away chuckling. 'I'm sure Ace would have sent her regards.'

'Laugh now Time Lord. I do saver the games, and our last will be so much fun...' Licking metaphysical fangs The First used his time to plan. To ready his claws. The new game would use a new set of rules. A set so wide that even the Doctor would not grasp the meaning of them until it was too late.

* * *

Somewhere in time but not really space a black TARDIS spun lazily through the time warp. Inside its owner sat in a ornate chair stroking his beard and absently tapped out a familiar drum beat. Four beats, fast tempo. Another four, almost faster, definitely menacing.

Four beats.

Four beats.

The sound stopped and under a stark and manicured beard cruel lips twisted in a vile smile. It was, of course, always best to check on what was happening on the Doctor's favourite little world and there was that little wormhole trace around there recently...

As his ship sped along its new destination the drum beat continued, almost chuckling.

End Interlude.

Disclaimer:-  
I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who or anything else used here. I just noted how similar Fenric and the First's plots and descriptions were and it sort of spiralled from there.

Don't worry, this wont' be a Buffy/Stargate/Doctor cross. Just a nod now and then.


	6. Meetings In An English Pub

Meetings In An English County Pub  
Authors note:-

Just so everyone knows I do live in the English countryside, I am also old fashioned enough to know these pubs not only exist but where they are and how to tell one from a mile away. Believe me when I say nothing is exaggerated here. I chose this setting for a little meeting from watching a couple of interviews and the fact I've met the guest star (he thought I was nuts, a man of good taste).

Set in season six just after the SG-1 episode "Disclosure" for obvious reasons. I also own nothing here.

* * *

Colonel Jack O'Neill had done a lot in his life. Most of it was classified and lost somewhere in the non-existent faults under the Pentagon so this was hardly his first time in England. If Daniel was there he'd Know the country too, for different reasons. But Daniel was dead/Ascended/whatever son not really much use. 'Never Carter?'

'No sir, never.' She was helping him carry the glasses to their table. A couple of days ago England, along with China and France, were told of the Stargate program. Yesterday Hammond gave SG-1 rather obscure instructions.

'What did you do before the Stargate Carter?'

'Research and training sir' she shrugged and looked again at her glass. 'Are you sure its supposed to look like this?' The dark rich brown liquid still settling and the head still rising.

'Yes Carter it is.' The instructions were just wrong. Officially they were briefing the British Prime Minister in person and having a day or so rest quite a distance from the Stargate. That wasn't why they were in the Duck and Crown, a village pub lost somewhere in the middle of the English countryside. That was the cryptic bit of the mission.

Back at their seats Jonas was flicking through the menu. Teal'c was sitting opposite doing the same. 'Don't order the whole menu.' Jack growled, giving the Jaffa his orange juice. Teal'c's answering grin was incredibly smug. 'No just don't, please. These places don't understand the concept of small portions.'

The cryptic part of the mission was to meet someone here, in the pub. This meeting was so classified Jack hadn't even been told who he was meeting. The pub was quiet and so far out of the way it wasn't true. 'So what can I get you?' The waitress smiled at them.

The four of them rattled off their orders and she nodded firmly. 'You're not from around here?' she asked politely.

'No' Jonas smiled in that annoying way of his. 'We're from America. We all work together, we pooled our holiday plans and ended up here.'

Jack followed the cover they had agreed. 'Yeah, We thought a drive would be cool and got lost. You couldn't help us could you?'

'Oh sure.' she laughed. 'You'd have to be lost to find this place on a Wednesday lunch time. Be back in a tick.' If only she knew how hard it was to find the place, they didn't have pretend to be lost. Carter's sat-nav still insisted they were some where in Spain. The young girl got back and Carter pulled out the map. 'Typical. Leave a woman to do all the work.'

Carter laughed back 'No way. They're the ones who got us lost. Trust one of these lot with a map? You must be joking' Ohh he'd get her back for that. It didn't take long for them to get their bearings and they really knew where they were now.

Trying their best to look like a group of harmless American tourists the four of them talked about the things they noticed and the differences between home and this little island they were stuck on.

Finally the moment Jack was waiting for, Carter absently took a mouthful of ale. 'Holy Hanna!'

'Powerful stuff isn't it?'

'What do they make this out of? she gasped. Jack had to admit it was cruel, Carter was more than able to keep up with him and just about any other officer on the base but this stuff the English made was not the beer they were used to.

For one it tasted like... well first it tasted, second it tasted like a whole meal. Jonas took a sip and smiled that incredibly innocent smile that made Jack wonder just how old he was.

'Sure you don't want to try some T?' Jack asked. He never was quite sure why Teal'c didn't drink. According to Fraiser it wasn't something to do with Junior and Jack was fairly sure the big guy had drunk something with alcohol in it. At least sometime in his long life.

Giving Jack a trademark black look Teal'c took the glass, smelt it and took a sip of ale. Giving it back to Jack Teal'c 's face never changed, he just went back to his orange juice 'Well then I guess you're driving.'

It wasn't long after that the next bit of entertainment came. Carter's face at the sight of the food. The plate was huge, overflowing with her steak's gravy over what the British called chips. Massive lumps of fried potato an inch across. Poking at the side plate full of steaming vegetables she muttered something about a diet tomorrow. What worried them all was the way the Waitress, not even batting an eye, presented Jonas with his plate. Even bigger and more impressive than Carter's.

Teal'c and Jack's came shortly after when the big Jaffa asked; 'Where do they get the meat O'Neill.'

'See those cows we passed on the way here?' Jack subtly pointed out The answering grin was everything Jack needed to know as his friend got up bowed and then left the table.

'What is he doing?' Jonas asked. The answer came a few moments later when, full tankard of ale in hand, Teal'c returned and began devouring both ale and meal.

* * *

Former Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart walked into his local pub. He liked the Duck and Crown, an old converted farm house not that far from his home or U.N.I.T. headquarters. He would often enjoy a pint or two and relax after a hard day. Sure most of U.N.I.T.'s commanders were in the high tech London Centre but when it came to doing the work the Priory was still the home for the main military and scientific arms.

While England relied more and more on Torchwood for it's extraterrestrial defence these days U.N.I.T. was still the front line and his "retirement" wasn't exactly that. Dragged back one too many times he eventually resigned himself to the fact that while the world could survive without the Doctor, without "The Brigadier" seamed to be a completely different matter. Ah there they were.

The four people described to him; two Americans, one Jaffa and another alien. Ah well if they were willing to include those two they might just be worth helping. Far be it for him a lowly retired Brigadier to dislike the way groups like Torchwood worked but he despised jumped up little spies, civil servants and mercenaries killing and shooting down harmless aliens just to steal their technology.

'Ahh hello. you must be Jack O'Neill. What a coincidence meeting you here.' He offered his hand to the shocked American.

To be continued:-

Authors note;

This little story was in danger of over spilling the format of the story so I decided to be evil and only give you half for now.

Up next:- Sontarans...


	7. Attack of The Potato People

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Authors note:-

I would like to do this one as a serious drama. The Sontarans are amongst some of the most blood thirsty and vile villains in Dr Who. Often described as the most brutal and unrepentant.

Unfortunately I've had enough dark recently and the next chapter should prove that. I think the title give the new direction away somehow...

* * *

Attack of the Potato People:-

The gamma site. Not, as Jack put it, "one of those rare element things" but the emergency back up site. To Daniel it looked like a cross between a shanty town and an archaeological dig. Naturally, it had only been up four weeks and didn't have the budget for large scale construction.

'As well as providing a second home away from home for you guys the Gamma site acts as a framing area and a data back up.' Their guide, a tech sergeant pointed out a large tent. 'We have four high capacity computers all networked. Everything from the SGC central archive incase something happens to the on world database.'

'How many times has it crashed?' Jack asked, Daniel got the feeling he already knew the answer.

'Crashed is such a subjective term...'

'The answer is seven.' Jack pointed out. 'First three times, according to the last commander, it blew up. Twice melted a hole in the tent when it caught fire. That was before you even turned the damn thing on.'

The Sergeant tried to defend himself 'We're dealing with the merging of different technologies...'

'Ahh not finished. Still two more cock ups after you finally got it working. One, according to your own report, was a programming fault. When it began playing reruns of Japanese cartoons instead of the Stars and Stripes during Hammond's visit.

'And the second time we tried that it sent a broad spectrum radio message of "I'm a little tea pot" in eighteen languages!' Daniel tried to keep his face straight. Sam, thankfully, escaped before laughing her head off. It was Teal'c that did it.

Watching the Jaffa's eye brow go from raised to "The Full Teal'c" as it was known was enough. But as soon as Jack had mentioned the tea pot disaster the former First Prime just burst out laughing.

Even Jack, as pissed off as he was, couldn't keep his face straight. 'Why?' he got out between snorts of laugher.

'Just minor teething problems Colonel.' The sergeant winced. 'We... we are working on a computer based translation system to help.'

'That doesn't explain the dodgy cartoons.'

'They are part of the base entertainment system.' Daniel grinned. At least these problems had happened before the senate oversight committee turned up.

The VIP's were doing a tour of the SGC and the handful of off-world bases. Looking for somewhere to cut the SGC's budget opposed to giving them the money needed.

'Colonel! Colonel O'Neill!' a scientist they hadn't been introduced to ran out of the computer tent. 'We've just had some great success with the space based radar system we're testing for Major Carter!'

'Success?" Daniel and Jack asked at the same time.

It didn't slow him down any; 'Yes, yes. We got real time readings. Three objects heading right this way.'

'How do you know they are heading this way?' Teal'c rumbled.

'Oh, they've made four course corrections since dropping out of hyperspace. It's amazing...'

Jack burst into action, grabbing the now startled Scientist by his lab coat. 'We're under attack and your more worried about the the gismo?'

Sam's voice crackled over the radio. Sir we've got incoming. Three spheres from the east.'

'We know, your radar thing works. Apparently.'

'Really that's...'

'Not now Major. Get to the gate and dial out. I don't care where just keep it open!' Daniel looked up and saw the three spheres. They looked like great big silver balls. Each one slammed into the ground successively. Knocking everyone to the ground.

'Carter Dial the damn gate and get everyone out! Now!' Jack shouted, hefting his gun. 'We'll join you as soon as we take out that computer.' Daniel accepted Teal'c's hand and was pulled back to his feet.

Jack half scrambled to the computer tent, not really bothering to stand. Looking around he saw the Sergeant and scientist back on their feet and running for the gate.

The Gamma site didn't have a defence force to speak of. Three airmen at most thanks to budget cuts. Two of them came running up, straight past the three ships. Doors opened, very much like a normal door, from a single hinge and a yellow ray caught one of the airmen.

It hit like a staff blast, the man hit was down and from the burn mark dead. Another couple of beams came from another sphere, one missing and the other catching the second airman.

In all five people, if you could call them that, came out. Short and blocky they were all wearing a sort of space armour. Featureless save for two little eye holes in the dome like helmet. Opening fire Daniel watched the armour piercing bullets bounce off.

Teal'c's staff blast did the same. Splitting up Daniel and his Jaffa friend dived as the aliens raised their little wand like weapons. Daniel noted it was clutched between two oversized fingers. Daniel had a lot of experience in dodging strange energy weapons and quickly found himself behind a MALP.

Risking a look Daniel saw Jack dive out of an exploding tent. The Colonel was caught mid flight by Teal'c who dragged him behind a pile of supplies just in time.

For the first time in four years of running around the galaxy Daniel wished he was carrying something that went kaboom. Spinning up and around he fired at the attackers.

Still bullet proof. Just how were they going to get out of this one?

* * *

'Someone get Carter another medal.' Jack joked looking around. The five guys were dead thanks to the Major not following orders and saving their bacon. After years some of his bad habits must have been picked up.

'I was just hoping to distract them so you could get out of there, Sir.' She shrugged before looking into their ships. Shame she still had her own bad habits too.

Daniel, miracle of miracles, hadn't been shot this time. He knelt over the bad guy he had taken out. 'Armoured against everything and they leave there weak spot on the back of the neck?'

Jack kicked a helmet off one of them. It looked like the guy had grown into it. His head was the same shape with a really wide mouth and piggy little eyes. 'These guys aren't going to win any beauty awards. Hey T, ever seen anything like these potato people before?'

'Indeed I have not.'

'Urm. guys...' Jack didn't like that tone of voice from his pet history geek. He was looking in another of those cool ship ship things. 'These things are counting down to something.'

Carter backed out of one quickly 'He's right sir.' she said. Her own voice had over tones of "lets not be here when they reach zero"

'For crying... RUN!' Jack shouted grabbing his accident prone team mate by the collar. Last thing they needed was his good luck streak to end

They just made it thought the gate before an all together too big an explosion tore the whole area apart.

End Attack of the Potato People

Next the return of the Master!


	8. The Master Plan

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
The Master Plan

The Master parked his car by the side of the road. It was a sporty little vehicle with an open top. Just what was needed. He had watched the mountain for a week and already knew quite a bit. It had been a year since he had hypnotised the blond woman that morning and it was time to tap that resource. For all his scheming the Master was not a patient man. Oh, when all the pieces were in place he could wait days before it was sprung. He'd often stretch a single plot over months timing out events to the second. It was part of the fun.

Only he never liked waiting for the fun to begin. Lucky for him he had a time machine.

Chuckling to himself the Time Lord turned on his car radio. It found a classic rock station, some man was screaming into a microphone. The Master reached to turn it off but the screaming stopped and was replaced with a half familiar drum beat. Four. In quick succession. It sparked something off inside of him.

Shrugging he sat back and waited. On one of the hills a tiny flash of light gave away the fact that someone was watching him. Smiling the Master waved to his earlier self and turned back to the road. It was always amusing to meet one's self he thought.

In a couple of moments his puppet would drive down the road and he would see himself grasp the strings he had woven. Giving his earlier self the idea to go back in time and set up this turn of events. A nice little orderly circle, pretty simple really but you should never over complicate things. Not unless you really had to.

Ah she's right on time. The Master turned off the radio and waited. Major Samantha Carter came around the corner on her motorbike. Slowing down she stopped next to him. 'Something wrong?'

Smiling sincerely to her the Master looked into her blue eyes. Past the surface and into her mind. 'Oh no. I'm just waiting for you to arrive. Hello Samantha.'

She blinked but contact was made. Stoking her curiosity and subduing her caution he began playing her mind like a fine instrument. Tuning out her free will. 'I know you.'

'My name?'

'Master...' She breathed, her eyes unfocussed. Perfect. Samantha shook her head but he had absolute control.

'Leaving the SGC my dear? Please allow me to give you a lift.' Opening the car's back door he motioned her.

'Thanks.' she smiled brightly and put the bike on the back seats.

The blond woman then got into the passenger seat. 'Nice car.' she noted. He was well aware that in the back of her mind she was screaming to get out. This could be a problem, as fascinating as her company was her remaining ego, her sense of self, would be an irritation.

He would put up with it until she became a problem. 'Samantha, my dear, how goes it at the SGC?'

She opened up to him. Quite unable to stop herself. Apparently they had made a few steps in freeing the enslaved humans. The treaties with the other "more advanced" civilisations out there were more along he lines of acquaintances than friends united against a common threat.

Good. Were the different races to unite they could pool their resources and little uncomfortable truths might emerge about his existence. As long as he kept to the background, unnoticed, there was little anyone could do to stop him.

They pulled up in front of her house With a light chuckle he felt her shock at the fact he knew where she lived. 'Oh, I have followed you for some time Samantha. You fascinate me' he admitted.

Even hypnotised her eyes flashed fear, he brushed a hair from her fringe. 'Shall we get your bike out?' He increased the depth of hypnosis. Both disappointed he couldn't keep her some semblance of awake and impressed she was still able to put up a fight.

'Yes, Master.' Without thought she got out. He helped her to push the primitive machine into her garage and invited himself in.

'Sit down my dear. I have a couple more questions.' She did as she was asked and he pulled a chair opposite. 'You have been very corporative so I'll help you. Yes I am not from this world of yours. And yes you are completely under my power.'

'Com... Completely. I have... I have to. ' She began struggling fighting his mental hold. It was a shame he had put them in more than twelve months ago, from her perspective. The longer one remained under his control the more absolute it became. Buried deeper and deeper into her mind.

Right now nothing short of a full psychic attack from the outside could brake his mind lock. Shame there was no such power on Earth. He smirked at her. 'Don't try fighting me. I. Am. Your. Master.'

He drilled the thought into her, sealing it deep into her mind. 'Master.' she repeated. The dazed look came back to her eyes and her mind shut down.

It was a shame but he couldn't risk letting her slip away. 'Now you've told me of the galaxy. What of Earth, what help have you from your own world?

'None. We keep the Stargate a secret, it's difficult but the world would panic if they knew the truth.' She admitted. 'I don't like it, no one does but we can't risk it.'

The Master allowed himself a broad grin. Foolishness, this world deserved to be destroyed if all they could do was stick their head in the sand and pretend its not happening. 'And your governments.'

'We can't tell anyone. The Russians found out a few months ago, they... They work with us now.' Russians? the Master thought, ahh yes the other "super-power".

Still no connection with UNIT or the British, but he asked anyway.

'Who are unit?' she asked, genuinely curious. He just laughed, this was too rich. Earth was besieged on all sides, hidden groups defending the pathetic mud ball everywhere you looked and none of them talked to each other!

If just one had the intelligence to stand up and be noticed Earth would become a major power in the cosmos but they were all too afraid! Bringing his laugher under control he stood up. 'My dear girl. I think it's time I left. I can find my own way out. When wake in the morning you will not remember this night. Only the command I gave you last time. Trust me, with every inch of your soul my dear.'

'Yes Master.' She agreed, he almost missed the twitch of her hand. She still had some fight left. Ahh well.

'Sleep now.' he told her and she simply leant back and slept. Moving to leave he decided to do one last thing. With his smallest finger he traced her jaw line. Such defiance, and a clever mind.

The Doctor did have a point protecting this little world. Occasionally the inhabitants could be... interesting. Leaving the house he headed to the "car" and indulged in a little self reflection. Sometimes he shared the Doctor's weakness for a pretty face. Now all he had to do was find a way to use it...

Then he could deal with his other little problem.

Quashing that thought he placed a hand on the centre of the "cars" steering wheel. His TARDIS dematerialised with it's own, personal, laugh.

* * *

Sam woke up with the dawn sun shinning through her window. Looking around he realised what had happened. She must have been more tired than she thought and just crashed on the couch.

Shaking the cobwebs from her head she finally took off her leather jacket. Great that meant she'd been in street clothes all night. Again. A trip to the dry cleaners was in order, soon.

Making her way to the kitchen she found coffee and milk that wasn't too sour in the fridge with a note from Janet. She should never have given her friend the spare key, it was a reminder that coffee and caffeine did not make a healthy breakfast.

Rubbing her chin absently Sam felt a chill run down her back and settle in her stomach.

Maybe Janet was right, she'd call her friend and arrange a breakfast. After coffee.

End The Master Plan

Authors note:-  
Yes that was a tiny bit disturbing but it's an old idea. Why does the Doctor always travel with a attractive, bright, young woman? The idea is that he has an eye for the ladies.

The Master, being a reflection of him, might have the same "weakness"

Oh and the rock song is Child In Time by Deep Purple. the drum beat during the bridge is vaguely reminiscent of the Dr Who theme tune. With the four beats...

Next:- Capin' Jack, Torchwood and Teal'c ... Let the flirting commence!


	9. What Is There To Do In Cardiff

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
What Is There To Do In Cardiff...

Authors note:-  
Originally I wanted to do a Vala based chapter with Captain Jack, but it was Teal'c's turn for a chapter and I had this idea. After thinking about it I decided this worked better.

* * *

Teal'c got out of the car and closed the door. Colonel Mitchell did the same on his side. 'This place gives me the screaming willies.'

'As you have said before Colonel Mitchell.' They were in the centre of the city know as Cardiff. Teal'c looked over at a large impressive building. It had a legend written in the native dialect across the front. Looking around Teal'c watched the people getting on with their live, as if the recent event's hadn't happened.

'I mean look around. Last three years England's been attacked half a dozen times. Just last week they had that ten story tall Godzilla thing running around killing people with it's shadow. Today kids play in the fountain. It's just not natural.'

'Are you worried that such action may prove reviling the Stargate's existence would be accepted by the people of this world.' The two of them walked further into the square.

'Woah there big guy. Giant outer space monster attacks are one thing, the Stargate is a whole different kettle of fish. We're talking war's, intergalactic empires...'

'Would they not be prepared for random attacks if they knew of the possibility of them.' Teal'c was deliberately avoiding the issue of other governments rebelling against the idea.

It was obvious so was Colonel Mitchell. 'People will not just shrug it off Teal'c. You tell these people they're cannon fodder for an interstellar war and they will panic.'

'Yet these people do not seem to be afraid of the random attacks no matter how frequently they seem to occur.' They stopped next to the fountain. The place they were told to meet this person. 'In fact I have thought about this for quite some time and I have grown extremely uncomfortable with the idea of hiding the truth from your people.'

'No one likes hiding the truth Teal'c. But you've seen it happen, we all have. If people aren't ready for it they won't just accept that they're safe. They'll panic.' Colonel Mitchell admitted.

'I still suspect not.'

'Ahh don't worry about it. People believe what they want.' A new voice said. A tall man with what the Tau'ri called "classic" features had simply appeared next to them. 'You must be Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Love the name. And tall, dark and handsome here must be Teal'c. Hello.' he smiled. The man's attitude was unlike anything Teal'c had encountered on this planet.

'Indeed.' he sketched a quick bow. The man facing him was as he had been described. Almost the same height as Teal'c and in a dark blue/grey overcoat. 'You would be Jack Harkness.'

'Cap'n Jack please.' he offered his hands to Teal'c and Colonel Mitchell. Oddly he offered his right hand to his left hand side and left to his right. At he same time, the effect was crossing his forearms.

'Colonel, please.' Mitchell attempted to "pull rank" as the Tau'ri called it.'Only Colonel? I though a good looking man like yourself could get anywhere he wanted in the ranks. I know I did.' The strange man made a clicking noise with the side of his mouth and winked at Teal'c.

Colonel Mitchell went into an extended fit of coughing. It was fairly obvious this man was both homosexual and extremely flirtatious. Quite why he had chosen Teal'c to flirt with was a mystery to the Jaffa but this wasn't what they were there for.

'You sent us a message explaining that required our assistance.' Teal'c rumbled at the extrovert young man.

'Like we said, we've got somebody for you.' he was right back to business. 'Get on.'

'On what?' Colonel Mitchell asked and Captain Harkness stepped up onto a large stone and just pointed. After a brief glance and a shrug Mitchell and then Teal'c himself followed.

The three of them on one stone Teal'c noticed that Captain Harkness was standing a little too close. 'Good hair, I was thinking about doing it myself a while ago. Didn't suit it.'

Colonel Mitchell failed to hide his smile and the whole stone shifted. 'What's...? Oh cool.' The stone was an open top elevator. Under the monument and public square was a large cavern, the base of operations for the group. Chains and foot bridges spanning the oversized room with what looked to be internal buildings. The centre piece was a continuation of the water feature that fed an underground lake.

The facility, unlike the SGC, was extremely untidy with many pieces of equipment seemingly put together quickly and left like that. Teal'c got the feeling this place was well lived in other than the SGC where only a few rooms looked occupied.

'Welcome to Torchwood. It's our job to protect the human race from alien attack. Salvage their technology and prepare for the future. This is the twenty first century. When it all happens.' The elevator stopped at the bottom and everyone got off. Captain Harkness, after his speech nodded to one of the people in the base 'Ianto, our guest enjoy his tea?'

A man in a well tailored suit, but rich blue shirt underneath answered, 'No, he decided that I was an infidel and spent a whole minute trying to preach to me. It was worse than my mother.' The man's accent was also quite strange, but Teal'c had been briefed on what was known as the Welsh dialect. The only language that Daniel Jackson could not speak convincingly.

'Oh so you're the guy's who put a big old target on the planet. Thanks for that, because of you guys we have to work weekends.' A man in a white doctors coat decorated with childish buttons noted. 'Doctor Owen Harper.' he introduced himself waving with a bandaged hand.

'Come on we can introduce the rest of the gang later. Our guest awaits you.' Captain Harkness lead them from the main centre down into the facility.

'... And no one knows this place exists, how you pull that off?' Colonel Mitchell asked.

'Ohh it's sort of a public secret these days. Everyone knows Torchwood exists, most think we're just a part of the government dealing with terrorists and the like. We're able to pass off most alien attacks as such and that's, as you say, is that. As for this place, we've got a few tricks up our sleeves.

'Here you go.' The Captain pointed to an alcove.

'Release me! In the name of the Ori you will release me now!' It was a Prior, trapped in a prison cell that had been built into the brick work. He had no staff and some sort of collar around his neck Teal'c had never seen before.

'Be silent.' Teal'c growled at him.

'Where, in the name of my great aunt Emma, did this guy come from?'

'Ha, good question.' Captain Harkness bit with sarcasm. 'Cardiff is built with a rift in space and time slap bang through the middle. Sometimes things, sometimes people, get washed through and we have to clean up any problems. Your friend here we found preaching in the street. He didn't know where he was and thought he could convert the people of this fair city.

'That collar around his neck keeps his powers locked. So you guy's can take him off our hands right?'

* * *

'So this guy is flirting with Teal'c, and I mean I think this guy is going to start humping Teal'c's leg. I'm telling you Sam would have a fit in that place. ' Cam joked with Jackson and Vala. Teal'c was not happy as Cam just couldn't stop gloating.

'Speaking of, Sam learn anything from that collar thing? I know your busy packing for Atlantis but...'

The blond woman smiled at him, putting her tray down. 'Where did they say they got that?'

'They said they built it, why?'

Sam cocked an eyebrow in his direction. 'There's a couple of fail-safes built in. You know that locking mechanism? Bi-polar magnetic seal with no moving parts. Physically impossible to open it with out a key.'

'Cool, we could always use something like that.' Cam agreed

Vala waved a hand 'Why didn't you tell me you were testing the lock. I could have broken it.' she boasted.

Sam just pulled the thing out of her pocket and gave it to Vala. 'You try it. And don't bother playing with anything else.'

'Why not?' she asked, curiously.

Sam gave Cam a black look. 'Because it's powered by two energy crystals and if you try to mess with anything in there they're rigged to blow.'

"Blow as in...?'

'Half the mountain.' Sam smiled with some sarcasm at the other woman. Jackson neatly plucked the device from Vala's hands and threw it to Teal'c who pocketed the bomb. 'Just for fun,' she continued, 'It does more than block a priors powers, it's also has a teleport suppressor built in. When active you can't beam it, or anyone holding it, anywhere. We tried.

'Oh it's also got a remote relay built into it. Last time I saw anything like it was those bracelets you foisted off on Daniel. Someone believed in the word "fail-safe" a little too much.'

Cam whistled. 'Teal'c, we're going to have to talk with your boyfriend.'

'I'd like to come too.' Vala asked out of nowhere. 'That sounds like the sort of thing my ex-husband would come up with.'

Everyone looked at her.

Next:-

I've threatened it, I go with a Cameron Mitchell story and a clue to the villain is:- "I am the Alpha and the..."


	10. I am the Alpha and the Omega

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
"I am the Alpha and the Omega..."

Cameron Mitchell was thrown out of the Stargate, Vala and the gang tumbling after him. 'Ow. Sam I think somethings wrong with the gate.' he said standing up.

'I don't think so, that's not a Stargate' Vala pointed out. It was then Cam looked around, they weren't back at the SGC. They were in a large room, deep reds and richly coloured woods with gold patterned shields on the walls. No windows or doors, the only way in or out was the gate.

The four of them; him, Sam, Teal'c and Vala had been following up leads on Dr Jackson since his kidnapping. They were dead ends but they still had to try.

Coming back from this last wild goose hunt had spat them out here instead of their base. 'Okay so where the hell are we? And what is that?' It looked like a trapezoid, or a triangle with the top cut off. The whatever had a Stargate pond in it.

'It looks like a different type of 'gate. I've never seen anything like it.' Sam admitted.

'Neither have I.' Vala chipped in.

Cam sighed. 'We'd guessed that.' He knew it was mistake to say anything but it was too late now.

She huffed indignantly; 'I'll have you know I've been from one end of this network of Stargates to the other. I've seen things you can't imagine.'

'Probably stole them too.' Cam snapped.

'Some of them may have fallen in to my hands through less than legal means yes. But that still makes me more than qualified to say that I don't know what that is.' She trailed off, waving a finger at the object.

'Thank you.' Sam growled at the two of them as the not-gate shut down. It took Cam a moment but he noticed something, there was no light source but it was as bright as day inside.

Teal'c was standing in front of one of the shields. The pattern was two great swirls, one on top of the other in gold and black. 'Colonel Carter, I do not recognise the symbol. This is not a Goa'uld I am familiar with.'

'Doesn't look like their style Teal'c.' she replied. 'I don't know it looks... it doesn't look right.'

Cam was more interested in the lights and said so. Everyone shrugged it off and tried to find a DHD. There wasn't much to search and the only thing they found was a small wooden box sitting on a table.

'So what's in it?' Vala asked as they gathered around.

Not for the first time Cam wondered just how Jackson could put up with her. Without the good doctor there was no one to answer the stupid question. 'We don't know yet. Am I the only one to think it is a bad idea? Scary box, trapped in a big room, lost. So let's all open the scary box?'

'That is a good point.' Sam winced

'What could you fit in a box like that?' Vala asked and opened it before anyone could stop her

The whole thing shook. not just the box or the table but the whole room. You could hear the wood panelling cracking and for an instant a terrible whaling shrieked from the open box.

Vala slammed the lid down. 'No harm.' she tried a smile before the box exploded throwing them into the four corners of the room.

The scream continued for a whole minute before the shimmering started. From the pile of matchsticks that was the table something rose. Looking like a landing strip in the middle of summer the shimmer morphed into the rough shape of a man. The man screamed again. It wasn't in pain but anger. This guy was almost insane with rage Cam realised before the shape blinked out of existence.

'What was that!' he shouted getting back to his feet.

'Prison?'

'Sounded like one to me.' Vala agreed with Sam

'Indeed the more important question is for what.'

A deep growling voice rumbled. 'My name is Omega. Before your world spun from the darkness I was a man. I existed.'

'And now?' Teal'c asked.

The disembodied voice howled again. 'Now... Now I am but a shade! My intellect, my vast power... RENDERED down to this.'

'Right...' Cam winced as the voice echoed around his head. 'So you're just a voice. Imprisoned in a box?'

'It is not the box that imprisons MEEE!' Cam really wished he'd get over that shouting. 'It is this... This formlessness that hampers me. You must help me, be my arms and hands. Only TOGETHER can any of us escape this... this limbo existence.'

Sam stepped up and looked up. 'We've been through this all before. You've been put here for a reason. Why?'

'Why? WHY? I created the Eye of Harmony! I created the very keys to unravel the universe and by way of thanks I was left. SEALED in the heart of a black hole. MY body, DESTROYED. Only my MIND survived and when I tried to escape I was REJECTED. After uncounted MILLENNIA my own people had abandoned me. Cast the GREAT OMEGA aside.'

Cam stood next to his friend. 'Sam, please don't get him shouting again.' he muttered. 'I don't think he's all there and I'm not talking about his body Sam.'

'Can you judge me? A HUMAN JUDGES OMEGA!' It was a deep booming laugh. It also had absolutely no sanity attached to it, at all. 'What arrogance. What SUPREME stupidity. You are all trapped here with me. If you will not help me of your own free will I will have to force you.' The voice was no longer booming, it was that quiet sort of gloating you get when the pantomime villain knows he has won.

'Okay, how are you going to...?' Cam asked before blacking out.

* * *

Vala picked herself off the floor. The strange stargate was open again and the whole room was full of it's light. 'Did what I just think happen, happen?' she asked the gang.

'If you're asking were we just all possessed by a voice that was trapped in a box the answer is yes.' Sam stood up. 'Am I the only one with a headache?'

'At LAST!'

'Oh no he's still here.' Cameron slumped back down to the floor.

Omega kept ranting though. 'My freedom. MY FREEDOM! And then, REVENGE! Revenge against all EXISTENCE! I thank you my friends, for your aid I grant you two boons. The first is your own freedom from this accursed place, the second... The SECOND is the warning. Do not oppose me again, for you will lose.' Still laughing he left. The stargate rippled slightly.

Without waiting Vala helped Cam up. Sam and Muscles helped each other up and the four of them scrambled for the gate.

Falling out on the other side they were back in the SGC. Cam turned on her. 'So, thanks to Vala we have another unstoppable, almost supernatural, force wanting us all very dead. Thank you.'

End I am The Alpha and the Omega

Authors note:-

hum... Cliffhanger ending, check. Sequel set up, check. Overall plot secure, check. Completely irrelevant following chapter just to annoy people who what to see what happens next, check. Convoluted plot in it works, check. what am I missing... my own sanity, of course!

Up next, another interlude. For this one we're stepping outside of Dr Who for a one time only crossover with another BBC Sci-Fi show...

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!


	11. Interlude 2 Smoke Me A Kipper

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Interlude 2  
"Smoke Me A Kipper"

Authors note:-  
Insert manic laugher here.

* * *

Jack paced the cell again. This was getting boring, scratch that. It was boring five hours ago, now it was just pathetic. It was as if no one was glad to see them these days.

Another "simple" mission. Another forest. Another castle, well okay that was sort of unusual. Most places didn't have full on castles. Those that once did usually had been levelled by a snake head. Daniel went full geek about parallel development and something or other.

The castle wasn't friendly at first, more scared than anything else with shop keepers . Then the 'lord' of the castle came and it was all hand shakes and "Won't you have a meal with me"

Stupid alarm bells failed to go off. So, one drugged meal later, Jack found himself on a pile of mouldy hay with a headache. Weapon-less and locked in a stupidly small cage. Stupid.

Daniel, Carter and Teal'c were in their own cages either side of him. Daniel was still out of it, Carter was almost physically kicking herself and the big guy was growing at the terrified little guard at the door. All they had to do now was wait for the sneery bastard to show up with the big "you fell into my trap" speech. Figure out how to brake out and get a GDO. Do that and then get home.

So, aside from the cool castle, a normal day out in the universe. His job really did suck on occasion.

The lord strode in. A couple of honest to goodness knights flanking him. 'You are the Devil leader Jack O'Neill. I recognised you from the description given by our God. I will not let your evil...' Jack tuned him out. The guy was a jackass, arguing with him would just be a waste of time. 'YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!' the a-hole bellowed.

'Why?' Jack shouted back, 'I don't care what you think. You're an idiot and your not even in charge. Go away, get lost and tell us when your high saluting, eye glowing, superiority complex wheedling, egotistical, false god graces us with their "divine" presence.' He made the little air quotes on the word "divine" before smiling sweetly for a moment and rolling his eyes.

The idiot tried to keep his temper before storming off. Ordering his guards to stay with the scared young man. 'Was that really a good idea?' Carter asked him.

'Yep.' Jack shrugged before Daniel woke up.

They didn't have to wait long before the lord got back with even more guards. 'The great globe has spoken with the words and face of our true God. She has ordered your execution by burning at the stake.'

'Oh great, a barbecue.' Daniel grouched sourly from his patch of hay. He probably felt as bad as he looked. IE the worst of the four of them.

Escorted out of the cells at spear point was not the highlight of Jacks career, casting a glance at Carter he wanted to ask her if she had a plan an idea. No chance she actually had one that would work but he still wanted to say something. '"So that's it then"' he grunted the code phase

'I guess so sir.' she shrugged. Teal'c nodded and started rolling his shoulder's loosing up his muscles. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, showing he understood. "So I guess that's it then" was code they had come up with for fate worse than death. In other words I'd rather die.

Jack was about to make the first move when some one shouted in a fake American accent; 'Hey, anyone mind telling me what's going on.' At first Jack thought it was a Goa'uld, what with the shiny jacket and and holier than thou smirk. However the long look he gave Carter from behind a pair of old Aviator sunglasses changed Jacks mind. 'Hey.' he said again, this time to her, flipping his long blond fringe out of his eyes. 'Names Rimmer, friends call me Ace and so can you.'

'You defile a sacrifice to God. The burning of these evil ones.'

Oh sorry old boy, I didn't know. What do you guy's think of this whole burning business?'

'We'd rather pass.' Jack grunted, who the hell was this guy?

'Thought so.' The silver clad man nodded. 'So why don't you let them go and I won't have to do anything you'll regret.'

'Burn him too!' the lord shouted waving at a couple of armed guards. They tried to jump the guy but he just shrugged them off. Taking a staff across the face "Ace" grinned. 'Hell of a blow you got there old chum. Almost a shame to waste it on a guy like me.' He then preceded to smash the staff and then the guard.

After he knocked the other out Jack spun on his own, taking the guy down. Teal'c was a fraction faster, head-butting his guard and flooring Danny's with a swift kick. Carter threw her's over her shoulder and kicked him in the head.

The lord didn't exactly take this well. While the civilians ran for it he shouted for more guards and Ace pulled a Indiana Jones. He produced a oversized gun from the inside of his bomber jacket and with both hands sent an energy burst that threw the lord a few feet and through a market stall.

Teal'c had made it to the big building in the middle of the square and came out a few moments later with their equipment. Ace covering the guardhouses with his silly ray-gun.

'Love to stay my old china's but we gotta run. Cheerio!' Ace called and they all ran for it.

Just out of sight of the castle they stopped in a clearing. There was a small and red one man ship sitting there. Jack looked at the stranger. Ace whipped of his sunglasses and flicked his fringe in the same motion. This was a guy who though he was handsome, charismatic and very good at what he did. Thing was Jack might have only known him five minutes but he could tell "Ace" was perfectly justified in feeling that way. 'Thank you for the help. Colonel Jack O'Neill.'

'Colonel heh' Ace saluted almost flamboyantly, 'Commander Arnie' Rimmer. Space core test pilot, back in dimension thirty-two.'

'Dimension?' Carter asked with a frown. 'You travel through dimensions? How? I mean how

'That right, the boy's with the coats down in the lab came up with a engine that could brake the speed of reality. Of course I was chosen for the mission and I've been carrying on saving beautiful ladies and their friends ever since. So, you got a name to go with the good looks and brains or should I just call you "major"?'he pointed at the rank on her BDU's

'Sam... urm Samantha Carter. Doctor and Major.' She caught herself, Jack watched her blush not very happily.

'Beauty, brains and a great name. You're lucky Colonel, most people will kill for a woman like this on their team.' The introductions continued. Ace commenting on Teal'c's tattoo and Daniel's glasses before. 'Well sorry chaps I can't stick around here all day, no matter how good the company.'

Ace hopped up and into his rocket ship, 'A whole universe to save and not enough Rimmer to go around. Great meeting you guys.' he put his silver helmet on and sat down. 'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.' Ace said, throwing the cockpit back. Jack and the gang got the hint and backed off, Ace saluted again before the whole ship catapulted off into the sky.

'Woah What a guy!' Daniel gasped.

* * *

Ace smiled to himself 'Nice bunch, looks like they've got their own problems. Computer?'

'Yes Ace?' The female voice breathlessly asked.

'Log the co-ordinates Computer and hold on to your motherboards, we're jumping.'

'Will do, Ace.' Ramming the thrusters to full Ace turned his crate to face deep space and flew.

Half a second later he shook his head, clearing the effects of the jump. Looked like he was somewhere new. 'Computer, where are we?'

'Unknown Ace. There's a ship dangerously close. What are you going to do?'

Drifting for a moment Ace turned his plane around, space wasn't as empty as he first thought. 'Old Firefly model.' he said to himself 'Computer, open radio channel.'

'They're already trying to contact you Ace.' The computer told him.

Whoever it was on the ship swore in Mandarin before shouting down the microphone. Just who the Goddamn are you and where did you come from. Can you even hear me?'

'Sorry old man. Dimension Jumping, not an exact science. Commander Ace Rimmer here, who are you?'

'Cap'n Mal Reynolds. Just what in the...' More swearing in Mandarin, Ace got the gist of it. Something about the hell of screaming howler monkeys and excrement. '...Is a dimension jump?'

'Oh boy.' Ace muttered to himself.

End Smoke me a Kipper

Authors note:-  
This little one has nothing to with any of the over all plot threads or the like. It's just a random idea that needed to be exorcized or I'd never get anything else done! Also a good way to play "Spot the influence."

Next:- Back to the main story with the Brig...


	12. Words With The Brig

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Words With The Brig

Jack looked at the man who had walked in and offered his hand. A little shorter than himself and a fair bit older. His close cropped white beard matching his hair, Jack also noticed the dull green British army jumper over a uniform brown shirt and neck tie. 'I'm Colonel O'Neill.'He introduced himself and shook the old man's hand.

Jack was impressed with the grip he had and recognised the look of an old fighter still ready to roll his sleeves up. he held he shake just longer than was necessary for politeness sake and smiled; 'Former Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, of the Royal Scot's Guard until I helped form UNIT. These days, however, I'm only an adviser. If I may.' He pulled up a chair and sat down.

Carter stifled a smile. 'UNIT? You're joking.'

'Carter?'

'Sorry sir but UNIT. I take it you've never heard of them?' she asked and Jack just shook his head. Lethbridge-Stewart just sat back and smiled faintly. 'They've been around since the 60's sir. The United Nations Intelligence Task force, their remit is supposed to be to investigate alien attacks on Earth and defend the planet.' she finished with a light laugh.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow; 'Is that not... possible?' he said with care, they didn't know how much this stranger knew.

'Your Jaffa friend is right Major Carter. How do you pronounce you're name "Teal'alc"?

'Teal'c.' The big guy answered with a low rumble.

'How do you know our names?' Jack asked, his voice a controlled whisper. This guy knew far too much for his liking.

'Your government shared information with the British and the French.' He answered in a polite conversational voice. 'They forwarded it to UNIT and we set up this meeting. Oh and it's better if we talk without whispering colonel, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. Please continue Major.' It was the sort of polite order given by career English officers. Jack had met a few like Lethbridge-Stewart in his time, they were a dying breed but no one would make the mistake of ignoring them.

Carter narrowed her eyes. 'It's all a cover up though. For UN military experimental weapons research. They test their new weapons in the English countryside, release some vague announcement that yet another alien attack has been thwarted and move on. Everyone knows there's no attacks though, it's the worst kept secret on the planet.'

Jonas looked confused, but there was nothing new there. 'Why can't they be protecting the planet?'

'You will excuse me a moment.' That same faint smile on his face Lethbridge-Stewart headed for the bar.

'It's a special weapons front. Everyone knows it, they've even tested dangerous chemicals in public water supplies. Not in so many words but there have been "accidents" if you catch my drift. Hallucinations and drugged behaviour throughout whole cities.'

'Have we not reported unexplainable events as such Major Carter?' Teal'c suggested and Jack was beginning to get a bad feeling.

'It's just not possible, our government refused to take part in UNIT but if they really were fighting aliens we would have to get involved.'

'Carter, what if?' Jack just let the question hang there. She didn't have an answer and he could see her slowly realising what he was getting at.

Jonas absently ate a potato wedge and Jack took another gulp of beer.

Lethbridge-Stewart came back to the table with a pint in hand. 'I see I'm going to need to explain a few things. Yes UNIT's task is to protect this world and it's people from alien attack. During the second world war we unleashed the power of the atom, we then very quickly began launching into space. We drew attention to ourselves, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed us. Several people and things did.

'You see most worlds out there with humans or many other races at our level are claimed by one empire or another. Earth sort of slipped through the cracks as it were. Without the protection of those other worlds we were perfect pray for some of the less pleasant creatures out there.

'We were fortunate that... that a very good friend of mine was stopping by on the first few times we were attacked. Naturally Britain was recognised as the best prospect for attack for many of these creatures. Easily defendable for them later, we were unprepared and still recovering from two world wars. After it became clear that these attacks would not only continue but escalate it was our job to do something about it.

'I approached the UN with the blessing of her majesties government and the rest as they say is history.' Jack looked across at his disbelieving second in command.

'No' she shook her head, determined to find a hole in his story. 'You see the Air Force proved that we hadn't been visited by aliens back in the late sixties. I've seen the reports, there's no evidence. None.'

'For America no there isn't, actually America was avoided by most. A country willing to test unclear weapons in the middle of its land does not make anyone comfortable. When we approached your people they told us they wanted nothing to do with us.'

'But what of the rumours, the stories about weapons testing and chemicals?' she asked.

'Just that, rumours. We spread them of course. While we would like to believe that people could take the truth of the attacks we know that they're more worried that nothing can be done about them. That's why your lot were focused on disproving alien contact. We're far happier just knowing that someone else will deal with it so there is no problem.'

'PR, is that all you are?' Jack half laughed.

Lethbridge-Stewart had another drink. 'I'm sure to some people that's what we started as but we are far from that now. We've been able to keep a low profile really Thanks to the stories we spread any real attack can be explained away, we've got a few weapons that can take out most things that would attack us.'

'Really, what about all those times we've had to stop a ship?'

'All of three times as I recall. The first was two ships the Goa'uld sent after us thanks to your actions. You might have noticed the force shield that stopped your enhanced missiles. We knew they had them of course, energy shields on that scale though are less effective in our atmosphere. We were just waiting for them to attack. You got there first.

'Asguard ship defences are just as hard to penetrate and we have no reason to think it had been taken over.'

'So you were just waiting for the right moment. How you know about the Asguard Replicator war?' Carter asked

* * *

Alastair sat back. 'During the sixties and seventies we approached the Air Force officers involved in your extraterrestrial project. Like I said they were not interested in proving alien existence, only disproving it. We investigated and found the Asguard had been spotted during their investigations but dismissed. We've used our contacts out there to keep an eye on them as one of the few races to consistently visit us without malice. When we became a level five planet a whole set of rules began to apply. According to the Shadow Proclamation at least.'

'The what?' Jack asked

Teal'c interrupted. 'No one knows, they are rumoured to be beings of vast magical powers. Only spoke of in harsh whisperers the Goa'uld forbid all knowledge of them.'

'Well its thanks to them that we've been able to negotiate some treaties and that's why I'm here. With hyperdrive capable ships like this Prometheus of yours we're rapidly becoming a level six world. We need to know what you plan to do with it and who you're moving against, if you endanger any of our relations we might not survive.'

To be continued...

End Words With The Brig

Authors note:-  
Once again this little story is getting too long and breaking the format I've tried to keep too through out. Ahh well I do have more, and more ideas so once again (in the spirit of this story) we'll have to come back to this later...

Next:- Now that would be telling!


	13. This sort of thing never ends well

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
"This sort of thing never ends well"

Authors note:-  
Now we start to link different stories together. For just why Daniel acts like he does in this chapter please see the companion piece "Lost Stars in an Empty Sky."

* * *

'I know it's a cliché but I've got a real bad feeling about this.' Jack muttered after turning another corner. Daniel had to agree and shared a look with Sam so did she. After stepping out of the Stargate they found large community square completely abandoned.

What once very recently a large advanced city was now a half demolished, burning disaster zone With no clue how it got like that. There were a couple of large posters in some sub-dialect of Asguard Daniel couldn't make much sense of. Other of one word he guessed was Ragnarock. The end of the world.

Some of the damage looked fairly recent so the four of them were moving with absolute stealth. Well Jack, Sam and Teal'c were, Daniel was no slouch when it came to sneaking but the others were experts. They had found a building relatively intact and were trying to get a over view of the damage to try and guess what had happened.

'O'Neill.' Teal'c whispered before pointing with his staff weapon. They looked in the room, it looked like a charnel house. packed with bodies.

'Oh boy, that does not look good.'

Sam inspected one of the bodies before. 'No wounds sir, I don't know what killed them.'

'It wasn't recent Carter.' Jack snapped and Daniel began feeing for his Has mat mask.

She stood up with a wince on her face. 'It doesn't look like a virus sir.'

Jack checked the corridors. 'We've seen enough Carter. Lets get back to the gate.'

Daniel grabbed his friends arm. 'Jack, we don't know what did this...'

'No we don't. If it was a disease we're in trouble. If it's not someone killed a whole city, almost demolished it and moved on.'

'Exactly why we need to stay and find out.'

Jack checked the corridor again. 'No Daniel I don't like this and my gut is telling me to get out of here.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c supplied.

Sam stood next to him. 'He's right Daniel.' she said. 'The best thing to do is get out of here and bring reinforcements.'

'What if there are survivors? We can't abandon them.'

'See reinforcements. Sub paragraph:- lots of.' Jack quipped and without another word they headed back to the gate. Daniel knew they were right, even if there were survivors of whatever happened here they couldn't do anything about it.

A high pitched hum began overhead that drew their attention. 'Airship?' he asked.

'Sounds like somethings up there, T lets have a look.' Jack nodded. 'Carter stay here.' The two of them moved down the corridor and stuck their heads through the window.

They pulled them back again at the same time. Teal'c was pale, Jack just blinking. after looking again Jack scrambled back. 'Okay there is a balcony on the other side of this door. Carter you need to see this.'

'Why.'

'It's a flying saucer.'

A few moments later they were all crouched behind a potted plant and a pillar on the balcony. The flying saucer was huge, and Daniel felt a chill in his soul when it passed overhead. something inside told him this was bad news. five sub domes spun underneath the saucer as it lazily spun in the opposite direction.

It was a dull golden copper colour and had a sort if unearthly grace about it. From out of its side a smaller disc slid out. Only three, much smaller spinning domes underneath, it. The smaller ship slid down to the ground. Landing in the broken courtyard of the building.

As it landed Daniel saw five men, with their hands on their heads, mach out to meet it.

They were followed by four motorised dustbins. All dull gold with single eye stalks and two lower sticks. One short with a sort of cage around it and the other looking a lot like sink plunger. 'We have to run. Now.' he said without knowing why.

'Daniel?' Sam asked her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't move, eyes fixed on the things down there.

'Doctor Jackson is correct I have heard stories. Demons of death and destruction. To cross them is certain death.' Teal'c muttered.

'The sentence is extermination for all who they meet'

'Danny, you okay?' Jack asked but Daniel was beyond thinking. he just watched. One of the prisoners looked around desperately. after a second he made a brake for it. Running and clambering over the rubble. Daniel could hear the others shouting after him to stop but he wasn't listening

One of the dustbins turned. It screamed one word that somehow Daniel knew all too well. 'EX-TERMIN-ATE!' A blue bolt burst from the short arm. The running man screamed.

A horrible sound, the death scream of a man lasting a whole second. Ending in a sort of gargling whimper. worse still was the sight. The man glowed blue, so bright a blue that you could see his skeleton as he writhed. Falling to the ground like a puppet with it's strings cut.

Then the unthinkable happened. The other three Daleks turned to the other prisoners. 'THEY ARE NOT NEE-DED. COM-PLETE EX-TERMI-NATION.'

They fired and he didn't think, 'NO!' Daniel shouted and opened fire with his P90.

* * *

Jack ducked behind the rubble again. Two of them out there, wonderful. 'Right. It doesn't look like they know what a Stargate is, or that we're going for it. If we can keep from doing anything stupid.' He looked pointedly at the gagged Daniel. They had prudently taken all his weapons from him as well. Just in case he tried to attack the invincible things again. 'We can get out of here. Any problems with that?'

Danny looked just as shocked at his own actions as they were. Not that Jack could blame him. Whatever these things were they were inhuman monsters and should be stopped. But not by them.

Jack had set up a suitable distraction and set it off. The building over looking their ship detonated and collapsed on top of it. The two monsters spun and glided out of the square.

Teal'c hefted the Space-monkey on his shoulder and the three of them ran for the DHD. Carter hammered out the Earth address and Jack pulled out the last block of C4, slapping it against the Stargate.

'Sir?' she asked.

'Go. he nodded her over as the gate opened and she punched in the Iris code. Teal'c with Daniel still on his shoulder ran through the gate. Carter flowed and Jack cast one last look. Yep the two... thinks were coming back. hitting the detonator for 5 seconds he followed his team, Knowing full well that the explosion would at the very worst damage the gate.

At best detonate it and wipe out a chunk of the planet.

End "This sort of thing never ends well"

Authors note:-  
Other companion pieces in this crossover universe to follow (or be reviled) shortly... (cue maniac laughter!)

Mountain King


	14. Everything Coming Up Aces

Of Gods Men and Monsters  
Everything Coming Up Aces

Authors note:-  
As you should know by now I like to mould these crossovers into episodes or at least somewhere in the SG-1 time line. If nothing else it give you an anchor to understand how they all fit together. Well this one is set after the season eight finale (the one where they go back in time to pick up a ZPM from Ra) and for the alternate SG-1 that was left stuck in ancient Egypt

* * *

Daniel ducked as he came into the tent. 'A few followers got away but not enough to be a problem.' He said to the other version of his friends. Teal'c refused to sit while Jack and Sam were sitting all too close. Ah well, at least that worked out.

Jack lent back with that goofy grin that he'd been sporting for the last couple of days 'So what do we do now? Go back home?'

'We can't Jack, I don't want to say this but we're in trouble' Sam cringed. From what Daniel had picked up this Sam had spent her life in one lab or another. Without the military experience she'd become almost shy and nervous about voicing her opinions. Not very much like Sam but Daniel had seen it happen to others, if you spent too much time buried in paperwork and not enough time actually getting out that was the result. Her often sarcastic and quick wit might not have helped much but she was beginning to brake out of her shell.

Poor Jack, this him had no idea what he'd gotten himself into. 'Actually, I don't know what will happen now.' She continued. 'I mean this has never happened before, we've altered time and we shouldn't exist here anymore.'

'I do not understand.' Teal'c grumbled

'It's the grandfather paradox. or close to it. See if we did fix our timeline and everything went as it should have we three wouldn't have had to go back in time to put it right... Can you see what I mean?'

Jack frowned for a whole minute before saying; 'Urm no.'

Sam gave him a smile. 'Okay think of it like this... Err... Okay. Say you want to tell the time. Your watch is on the other side of the room. You go and get it.'

'Right with you so far.' Jack assured her, Daniel kept an eye on Teal'c. Just because the big Jaffa didn't say anything didn't mean he understood.

Sam kept going. 'but if the watch was in your pocket you wouldn't need to walk over there. We've just moved the watch, or big crystal thing and the other side of the room is time travel. You get what I'm saying?'

'That we shouldn't have needed to go back in time because we had the "watch" all along.' Daniel rounded it up. 'So we shouldn't have needed to go into the past so we shouldn't be here.'

'Exactly, paradox. There's only really two theories to explain what's going to happen. The first is... we disappear. Like we never existed.'

'And what is the other.' Teal'c looked pale. The idea of non-existence didn't sound good to Daniel either.

That we are stuck here, for the rest of our lives, and our future selves from Daniel's timeline disappear.'

'If that happens I should vanish then.'

Sam cringed again. 'Yep.' the four of them sat in silence looking at each other.

'Any idea when this should have happened?' Jack asked eventually.

'No' she shrugged

It was at that moment a sudden cry came from outside the tent. Maroof, one of the camps children, ran in shouting for Daniel.

'What is it?' the linguist asked automatically switching into Ancient Egyptian.

'Ra has returned, he comes from the sky on wings of fire.' the boy cried out. Teal'c recognised what the boy said. Jack and Sam heard enough to grab weapons. Well Jack grabbed his machine gun, Sam fumbled with a nine millimetre pistol.

Darting outside people were running for the underground shelters and weapons. Looking up Daniel expected to see an Alkesh, a squadron of gliders or even a Ha'tak mothership.

It wasn't, in fact it didn't even look Goa'uld. About the size of the Puddle-jumper but with a single front wing that swept back and to one side. The wing tip and almost tail like end had very bright engines that offset the almost scarlet hull colouring.

Jack's gun clicked back. 'Your lot seen anything like that before Jackson?'

'No.'

'Neither have I' Teal'c rumbled before priming his staff weapon. The ship came to a fiery stop only a foot or so from the desert, kicking up a dust storm.

Blinded and blinking sand from his eyes Daniel grabbed hold of the P90 under his robes. When his vision finally cleared he saw a lot of his encampment stumbling to their feet trying to see again. dead centre of the storm sat the ship, wing folded in on itself and what he guessed was the pilot facing them.

She was possibly the same age as Sam, in well worn and lose fitting leather trousers and a oversized pistol on one hip. Long brown hair in a pony tail and a bomber jacket covered in badges and labels over a silver/black top. One symbol, on her cuff, looked like the Soviet hammer and sickle. On a second look it was, actually it was all from Earth and very well worn. 'SG-1?' She asked with an English accent. almost as if she didn't have forty people with an assortment of weapons pointed at her.

'Yes?' Daniel ventured

* * *

Ace smiled, she'd come a long way from the little girl following the Doctor around time and space. Amateur Dalek hunter, a job that had a very short life expectancy. Galactic trouble solver, admittedly she usually solved it with a crate of nitro-9 but that was only a minor point. Even without the Professor she had seen things that would drive most people crazy. 'Name's Ace.' She said, making sure they were the ones described in the warrant. 'I work freelance for the Time Agency. You're wanted for crimes relating to time travel.'

So "freelance" was a bit of a stretch. Bounty hunter was a better way to describe it but a girl had to live somehow.

'Time Agency?' O'Neill looked to the woman with them, Carter. 'What's a Time Agency?'

'They police time travel.' Ace answered for them. 'Any unauthorised travel through time must be either accidental or have no effect on the time line. Preferably both. You and your team deliberately went back in time and altered history. Apparently it took a major act of temporal reconstruction just to fix what you did.' She walked closer to the four of them, noticing the guns follow her. 'The punishment should be non-existence But you've been given a reduced sentence. You tried to correct your mistake and put the correct time line back on track.'

'So what are you doing here?' Jackson asked delicately. lowering his gun the others took that cue and Ace tried not to show the relief she felt.

She looked around to make sure no one was going to shot her in the back. 'Banishment. I'm to destroy your time ship and quantum lock you here. If you even try to travel through time again you'll die.' Ace didn't have to try and sound sad at that. Even after all this time her experience and training under the old Professor stuck.

'And what if we say no and shoot you.' O'Neill asked cockily.

'Then I get cranky.' She smiled and rolled up a sleeve. The crystal projectors of her personal force field glittered as they powered up. The little wrist strap had saved her life more than once. 'Someone else is supposed to have corrected the future, the original versions of yourselves have been maintained.' Ace laughed. 'That means there's now two lots of you. One here and one there. So I really have a free hand and if I get cranky I decide the original sentence was the right one. Your choice.'

Authors note:-

Well I'll let you wonder what the alternate SG-1 do.


	15. The Devil is in the Details

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
The Devil is in the Details

Teal'c stepped though the other side of the Stargate and into the underground cavern. Somewhere a deep red light mixed with the shadows. O'Neill was just in front of him. 'Nice place.' he quipped 'Why are we here again?'

Major Carter headed to the MALP. 'Sir something in this planet is creating a massive energy field. If we can find out what.'

'Oh type "B" mission then. I was hoping for something else, like rescue the princess or something. Daniel, don't touch anything.' O'Neill complained bitterly. A few weeks ago the Colonel had introduced a list for the sort of missions SG-1 went on. "Type A" was generally attack the Goa'uld and save a planet. "Type B' had been described as Carter thinks there's something important so it is extremely possible that Daniel Jackson is going to get hurt. "Type C" was that Daniel Jackson had found something, Don't even pretend he will not get injured and contact Doctor Fraiser before leaving the base.

'Jack.' Daniel Jackson reprimanded him. 'I'm not four and not everything I touch is going to blow up.' Teal'c raised one eyebrow at that and shared a look with O'Neill.

'Erm, Daniel. Can you have a look at this please?' Major Carter asked and pointed at the cavern wall with her flashlight.

There were several drawings that seemed to be in some sort of order. 'Cave paintings?' Daniel Jackson asked no one in particular before quickly scanning the wall with his light. 'No, their pictograms. Guys, I'm going to need some light.'

Quickly Teal'c and Major Carter unpacked and set-up the portable lighting equipment from the MALP. O'Neill, meanwhile, busied himself checking for cracks in the ceiling. With the wall illuminated Daniel Jackson began work. Dusting off the primitive paintings. They appeared to depict a great battle.

'Ever seen anything like them Teal'c.' O'Neill asked absently

The Jaffa leaned in to get a better look. 'I have seen many histories depicted in this way. However I have never seen any of his kind.'

'Their pictograms Jack. Sort of like advanced cave paintings. They're not that difficult to understand, I think someone wanted us to understand them, look here.' he knelt down and swept at what looked to be markings of some kind. 'Obviously whoever did this had a developed written language but knew that not everyone could read it, so they used pictograms instead.'

'Can you read it.'

'That language, no there's not enough here to make any sense of it. The pictograms on the other hand...' Daniel Jackson stood up and pointed to the top edge. 'I think they are some sort of creation myth. I'm paraphrasing but before something there was That.' he pointed at a red image of a creature with black horns.

'The devil thing?' Major Carter asked pointing at it.

Daniel Jackson just nodded. 'Then came these little white guys.' He pointed at a group of figures beneath the so called "devil thing". He then waved his hand over the main part. 'This shows some sort of great battle between good and evil, with the little guys being good. Now we've got the big devil thing being cast down. Buried even and imprisoned. '

'What of the little guy's?'O'Neill pressed

'They left and that's it.'

'Whatever would we do with out you Danny-boy? Carter now story time is over found anything about this energy source thing?'

Doctor Jackson, however, was not one to take being dismissed so easily. 'Jack, your missing the point. Who put this here, why here of all places and what does it mean. Is it just a story or the basis of a whole society?'

'I don't see a society, I see cave pictures.'

'Exactly where did they go, just how old is this? There are so many questions that have to be asked here..'

'Fine. T, you stay here with the arch-history geek. Me and Carter will look for this power source. Which way?'

Shaking her head Major Carter pointed a device this way and that before picking a small tunnel. 'That way.' She said and the two of them left.

'I know you don't want to baby sit me Teal'c. You don't have to you know.'

'Indeed I do, Daniel Jackson. You have proven yourself to find danger in the most unlikely of scenarios.' It was at that point a terrifying scream came from the direction O'Neill and Major Carter had taken followed by the sound of an enormous gout of flame.

Throwing his tools away Daniel Jackson reacted quickly, although not as quickly as Teal'c, but what was waiting for them was not what they expected.

Both of their team members were pale and pressed against the passage wall. Just ahead of them an even larger cavern glowed a fiery red.

'Daniel,' O'Neill whispered. 'That thing on the wall, you sure that was a story?'

'Positive, unless there's a giant horned devil monster in there...' He almost didn't finish the sentence. 'You're joking?'

'No' Major Carter squeaked out, clutching he P90 tightly. It took a lot to discomfort the ever resourceful female.

'I can hear you know.' A deep, cultured and rumbling voice called out. 'Why don't you come out of there, let us talk. It has been so long since I had visitors.' his voice was accompanied by the clanking of chains. Sparing a moment Teal'c looked around the corner.

What he saw would last in his nightmares for the rest of his life. Easily taller than most buildings the cavern they opened out to met it half way up it's chest. Red as blood with deep scarlet shadows outlining it's grossly oversized features. Chained to the cave walls from its arms and impressive black horns Teal'c, even with a brief glance, could tell it had been there for a long time. Straining against its bonds the creatures lipless mouth was fixed in a snarl and eyes burned like two suns of hate.

Teal'c ducked back into the tunnel, there was only one option when faced 'Run.' he said and quickly matched actions to his words.

'Hang on, what about...?' Daniel Jackson asked but didn't get a chance to finish as all three of them grabbed him and carried the human back to the Stargate

Behind them the great Beast's voice raged. 'Get back here! I am the rage and the sin. I am the Night that has come to clam your life in the light of Day. I am the agony of worlds long dead! You will obey me! See me! FREE ME!' It was still raging as they jumped through the Stargate.

* * *

General George Hammond looked at his flagship team. Very slowly he put down the report. Teal'c of all people was visibly shaking, Major Carter was nursing a glass of water and Jack was straitening paperclips. George looked to Doctor Jackson who seemed to be perfectly calm. 'I take it you did not see this devil.' he asked.

'No sir he didn't.' Jack broke a paperclip. 'Of the lot of us he's the one who needs the most sleep.

'... but I did hear it. And if what I read is true the similarity between that and the classic Devil legend needs more investigating,'

'We investigated Daniel.' the Major said between sips of water. 'We did all the investigating we ever need to and I'm not going back there. I mean we just turned the corner and there it was.' She shuddered and refilled her glass.

George nodded. 'I'll have Walter lock out the address from the gate computer.' He had learnt to trust SG-1 no matter what they reported back. 'Now before I order all of you to take some down time and recover there's one thing.

'Teal'c and Doctor Jackson's reports mention a scream. Do we know where it came from?'

The Major looked up and then guiltily at Jack who broke another paper clip.

'Oh come on!' the Colonel burst out. 'It wasn't a scream, more a manly shout of alarm and surprise.'

George, with a perfectly strait face, nodded. 'That's what the official record will show.' He said in a dead pan, another glance around the team reviled carefully hidden smiles on all but one of them.

Who was still busy with paperclips.

End The Devil is in the Details

Authors note:-

Of course if you didn't recognise him the Monster from this story was from the New -Who two part episode:- The Impossible Planet / The Satan Pit. And was, in the story, the actual origin of the devil.

Next up:- Interlude 3, At the Villains Ball


	16. Interlude 3

Of Gods, Men and Monsters

Dancing at the Villains Ball

Authors note.

No SG-1 in this chapter, just a few lose ends that are being threaded together...

The Master lent back in his TARDIS's cloister. Some of his best plans had been dreamt up in this place. His little retreat from it all, He had even transferred the properties of his Zero-room. In here was his true home, absolutely nothing could disturb him.

At least that was the idea. As with escape roots and trap doors in even his most fool proof plans there was always at least one way to get his attention.

Every alarm in the Time Capsule going off in a cacophony of sound and light was a good one. Absolute in his knowledge that nothing could harm him inside his TARDIS the Master grunted and headed to the control room. the main console pulsed up and down, reminding the Master he was in still in flight. The very idea that something could reach him here, that was impossible.

Quickly killing the alarms he checked the external sensors. Nothing, something was pounding on his TARDIS shields while he was insider the time-vortex and it was completely invisible. In the sprit of experimentation he activated the external speakers.

'I don't know if you can hear me. In fact I don't know what you are but this is no way to go about introducing yourself.'

'REVENGE!' it bellowed. 'I will BE avenged against ALL Time-Lord's for imprisoning MEEE.'

The Master rolled his eyes. 'I exist in a state of temporal grace my deluded friend. you can rage against the sides of my TARDIS for eternity and get no where.'

Whoever it was raged at his own impudent situation. 'Then I will dog YOU throughout ALLL ETERNITY. There will be NO place to HIDE from the WILL OF OMEGA.'

'Omega, the stellar engineer?' The Master asked in shock. 'You went insane and were imprisoned by the high council.'

'I am FREEEE. Freed by those IGNORANT of WHO I am. WHOM I WAS!' The disembodied will boomed. 'I felt YOUR influence on one that UNLEASHED MEEE. A human female...'

The Master thought about that for a moment. A human female, relatively close to this time period that could have found the insane force of will. 'Oh the exquisite Samantha. I have spent years weaving my control into her complex little mind. How is she?' he asked with some curiosity

'I ALLOWED her to LLLIVE. A gift for her peoples SERVICE and AID in MY ESCAPE. YOU time lord WILL NOT be so FORTUNATE.'

It looked like the master was going to have to divert this mad man's attention. 'Yes, I see. Now you can follow me across time and space. Attempting to catch me or obliterate me in one form or another but that sounds like it will get boring, rapidly. I think you need to speak to someone.'

'I NEEED to speak to NO one. I am OMEGA!'

Resisting a tut the Master just shook his head. 'Yes you are, and that is very impressive however the person you need to talk to is my employer.'

'Employer?' Omega asked, genuinely curious.

'Yes, you see I am not truly a free agent. My, employer, was kind enough to grant me further regenerations after my original span was used up battling the Doctor...'

'...THE DOCTOR! It was HEEE that IMPRISONED MEEE! HIS LIFES I will RENDER unto DUST!'

Yes this was going to work out perfectly. 'You see we all have something in common. My employer also has had a run in with the Doctor. More than once.' The Master added bitterly. 'If you would meet him...'

'...WE could COMBINE our powers. ONE that CAN GRANT whole new regenerations MUST be ALMIGHTY. Yes, YES! WHO is the one I must SEEEK.'

'Who else; "That which can not be named".' the Master admitted

He pause was deafening. Then whispering Omega replied; ' "That which can not be named"? You would do such a thing? I would do such a thing?'

'It's either that, or destroy me and cross him. Your choice Omega.' The Master pressed.

With a slow grumbling roar Omega released the Master's TARDIS. 'Let the heavens QUAKE with OUR POWER!' he shouted.

After a moment the Master ventured 'Omega? Oh Omega, are you there?' he was gone. With a broad grin the Master walked back to his cloister room. This was perfect, the two of them would accept a partnership for a while. Until the Doctor was defeated they would be the best of friends, before stabbing each other in the back of course.

Whoever eventually won that contest would be weakened. Weakened enough for the Master to make his move.

It was turning out to be a good day after all.

The First sat between reality and existence. It's influence over the living weakened but not gone. Here in this prison it had to stay until the scales were tipped back in it's favour. Banished to the region before death it could only watch. Last time he had moved to fast, ignoring those that threatened him.

They took advantage of his ignorance and defeated him. This time it would be different, he would remove all that stood in his way before moving his pieces into position for his resurrection

Then the First felt it. A presence driven by the idea of vengeance, a once proud mind now twisted into something beyond even madness. Disembodied, propelled simply by it's own desires. 'I AM OMEGA.' it bellowed at the First.

Evil simply acknowledged Vengeance. As an emotion it was hollow, without depth or substance but the First could see more. In it's madness this will had become nothing but a force of pure destruction. A weapon that could unleashed. 'You know what I am.' the First said across the barrier it could not cross.

'I know EVERYTHING. I KNOW we have MUCH in common.'

'Volume is obviously not such a thing. What do we have in common?'

The will of Omega fluttered; 'Hatred.' it said slyly. 'HATRED for HEEE who put us BOTH in our respective positions. A TIME LOORD, known AS...'

'The Doctor.' The First finished, not sure if it could put up with another self important shout. 'You're right, we do have something in common. Well then, spectre of hate, Where shall we begin our little alliance.

End interlude 3

Dancing at the Villains Ball

Authors note:

Don't you just love a super-villain team up? I know I do.


	17. The Siege and Investiture of

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
The Siege and Investiture of Baron Von Morbius

Authors notes:-  
It's been awhile since I played in this crossover universe. Mostly because I'm having difficulty with the next part of the brigadier crossover, the Mekon isn't behaving.

With that obscure reference brushed under the carpet it's back to this story. The title is from a track on the equally obscure Blue Oyster Cult album "Imaginos". I thought it appropriate.

* * *

Jack stepped out of the Stargate and immediately the landscape was illuminated by a great flash of lightning. Carter was already checking the DHD, 'It's alright sir, like I said.' she called and headed to the MALP. The tracked wonder hadn't worked well on the slippery stones and fallen on it's side. From it's side the MALP had shown what looked like a crashed ship.

SG-1 were sent to retrieve both MALP and see if the ship was of any use.

'Except for the weather.' He called back over another thunderbolt before reaching the radio. 'All's clear General, we won't need the generator but tell Daniel to put his hood up. Last thing I want is Ol' Doc Fraiser complaining her favourite archaeologist has got the sniffles.'

'I'm right here Colonel.' the woman announced, 'I decided to save time and have the emergency team in the hallway.'

If this was going to be another "quiet" SG-1 mission that was a good idea. Daniel and Teal'c stepped out of the 'gate. Daniel almost immediately slipped, only to be caught by the big Jaffa. 'That might be a good idea, O'neill out.' he cut off the radio and looked at his best friend. 'Do me one favour, don't fall flat on your face.'

Teal'c, half smirking, let go of the accident prone geek and when to help Carter right the MALP.

'It's like something out of a gothic horror novel.' Daniel looked around as the gate shut down. He was right, the dark storm and squalid rain. Great huge rocks jutting out of the landscape of all sorts of shapes and sizes.

'I know, it's almost as wet as England.' Jack quipped

Daniel squinted at one of the odder stones. 'Yeah, I don't think there's this many crashed spaceships in England.'

'What?' Carter asked looked up and another massive flash of lightning lit up the scenery. Daniel was right, the whole landscape was covered in crashed Spaceships. Rotting with rust and half melted from what Jack as beginning to suspect was constant storms. 'Holy Hanna.' The Major gasped, looking around for herself. 'We thought there was just one. There must be dozens of them.'

'So someone's collecting them or we're in the Bermuda Triangle of space.' Jack supplied. 'Knowing our luck I can guess which one.'

'I have never seen ships like these O'neill.' Teal'c announced.

'Urm, Jack is it just me or is...' Jack spun to see Daniel waver and vanish like a cloud of fog being blown away.

'Daniel!' Carter shouted and Jack brought up his P-90.

'Where the hell has he gone?' Jack asked pointlessly.

'O'neill, Major Carter is missing!'

Jack spun again 'What?' He was right Carter had been replaced with a wisp of smoke. 'I guess it's one of us next. huh T.' He looked around, 'Oh for crying out loud!' he shouted before everything was lost in a fog.

Often Jack had flown through cloud cover in fighters, only to come out of the other side into clear sky. It was exactly the same here. Only on the other side of this cloud there wasn't any plane. Only his team on the floor. Before he could react something heavy hit him across the back of the head, the last thing he saw was the floor coming up to meet him.

Coming too Jack tried to pull against the whatever was holding his hands behind his back. 'ohh, oww.' he blinked, head spinning. 'I think I'd have preferred being Zat-ed.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c's deep voice intoned from just over his left shoulder

'You alright sir?' Carter asked from his right, as far as Jack could tell they were all facing outward in a circle.

'That's a stupid question, I've just been teleported, cracked across the head and tied to a stake. Of course I'm not alright.' Jack looked at his feet and for a moment wondered just what he was standing on. 'Carter, is that firewood.'

'Yes sir, it is'

Any number of thoughts came to him at that point. most of them to do with burning and broomsticks. 'Where's Daniel?'

'He remains unconscious O'neill.'

'Typical.' He grunted. It was at that point twenty or so young women with odd hats and dusty red robes walked in single file behind an older crone like woman. The women, all carrying burning torches, surrounded them and began to walk in circles around. 'Speaking of typical...'

The older woman stopped in front of him. 'You are the leader?'

'Colonel Jack O'neill, hello. What's going on?'

The woman smiled, it wasn't a friendly smile. More rubbing his nose in something he should have know. 'So the followers of Morbius have forgotten that there are those that protect the Elixir of Life.'

The younger women began chanting in whispers. 'Sacred fire. Sacred flame.'

'Right... No idea what you're on about so if you whack jobs are finished it would be great if you didn't burn us.' Jack winced.

'Do you deny you were sent by Morbius's followers to steal our sacred waters.'

'Look we don't know who Morty-bus or what the hell your supposed to be guarding. We're explorers, we came through the Stargate to investigate the crashed ships.' Jack explained.

The woman drew herself higher. 'Do not try and deceive us, there is no way to reach this world without a ship. And all those that come do so to take that which is ours.'

'The stargate, the great big round thing you found us next to.'

'You talk of the ring of the Alterans. You clam to have learnt it's secrets and that it lets you travel here?'

Carter answered. 'It's not that big a secret. The stargates generate micro-wormholes between each other and then transmit matter that passes through an artificial event horizon.' the silence that followed was more than a little freaky. Jack watched as all the women turned to Carter

'You speak words of nonsense witch woman. I warn you, they have no strength here in the home of the sisterhood. Only we have power here.' The others began chanting again, this time directed at her.

'I'm not... I'm a scientist.' Carter cried out indignantly.

'Be thankful witch woman, we have chosen your fate to be lenient. The worms of madness will now squirm in your thoughts. Only your sacrifice to the sacred flame awaits you know.'

'Carter don't bother. It's for situations just like this SG-1 has it's own, ever useful, archaeologist. shame he's ASLEEP!' Jack shouted over his shoulder. 'I do not want to be burnt to death today so wake up Danny-boy.'

'Enough!' the aged woman shouted. 'The time of the sacrifice draws near and you have still not told me who lead you to this place.' She held a hand up over her face, a giant ring with a mirror mounted in it decorated a good half of her hand. 'Since you will not tell me I must search your minds. Flipping her hand a round the ring began to glow, bathing her face in a faint blue light.

Pushing the hand out towards Carter the light became brighter. 'Your mind is closed witch woman. Closed to the mystic and hampered by rules you see in all of creation.' The high whatever walked around hand pointing ahead. Next up was Jack. 'Your mind is different, more open but locked and still limited. Great hurt in your past still colours your life.'

Then Teal'c. 'Once a slave, now fights a hopeless battle. Seeks freedom for all.'

Finally there was Daniel. 'And what of this one?' She asked absently. 'Concerned with history and knowledge this one's mind is open but still no knowledge of us.' She sounded disappointed. 'Release them.'

'But High One...' One of the young women gasped.

'No, they are telling us the truth. They know nothing of us or great task.' she walked back into view. 'Cut them down, the flame will have to go without sacrifice.'

'Perhaps they deceive us...' The same woman asked.

The so called High One shook her head. 'No. I sense no deception from them. Show us how you use the ring of the Alterans. Teach us how it's magic can be stopped and you have your freedom and life.'

* * *

Maren watched as the witch woman of their people showed how the magic of the Alterans used crystals. Like them the Alterans called it science and pretended that anyone could use it.

She knew better, watching and listening she understood that removing parts of the symbol of magic was enough to disenchant it. Maren, the High One of the sisterhood, looked again to the apparently youngest of the four. She knew better, the Time Lord had hidden himself. Hidden from all, especially himself. If she had ordered his death she would have broken the ancient treaty between the sisterhood and the Time Lords.

More than that they were innocent. Unaware of the secrets of the world they had stumbled upon. 'Thank you, child. Now you and your male companions will leave. This world does not welcome strangers, this reprieve will not be repeated.

The blonde girl set her face and muttered 'Well child is better than witch.' The four of them turned to leave.'

As the hidden Time Lord turned to speak their leader pushed him on. 'Don't bother Danny. They aren't interested.' He probably surmised that his friend would ask about friendship and alliance. Typical Time Lord attitude. Talking when it wasn't wanted.

What great crime had been committed, what terrible reasoning had the Time Lord for casting aside his own identity and simply awaiting death.

End The Siege and Investiture of Baron Von Morbius

Authors note:  
It deserves another note, I chose to use the sister hood as the villains because they were easy to use and then get SG-1 involved with. That and Morbius is a little too much like Omegaand he's already enough to handle...


	18. Words With The Brig 2

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Words With The Brig

Jack paused for a moment and put his pint down. 'What alliances?'

'You didn't think that the Goa'uld and the Asguard were the only forces out there? Even the largest galaxy spanning empires don't reach everywhere, and the bigger they are the more cracks things can slip though. The Goa'uld System Lords, scattered and divided as they are, prove that more than most. Zygons, Sontarans, Cybermen Daleks, the terrible Zodin even the Mekon of Mekonia. There are forces out there that don't even notice System Lords.' Lethbridge-Stewart smiled.

'And somehow you've stopped them? All by yourselves?' Jack's second in command asked. She was probably still bitter over the fact these guys really were the real thing.

'Not really.' he admitted. 'In all honesty if the Goa'uld don't see us as a threat why would they? We're what's known as a level five civilisation, it means we have atomic power but not much else. Lucky for us we also fall under the protection of the Shadow proclamation. A sort of police force of the stars, if any hyper-advanced civilisation tried to conquer another less developed people they have the resources and power to stop it.'

'Then why haven't they stopped the Goa'uld?' Jack asked 'If they are so powerful and good.'

'Religion. The Jaffa and primitive peoples out there worship the goa'uld as gods. Making it a religious choice. The Shadow Proclamation has no jurisdiction I'm afraid.'

'So it's not all just ego, damn if Daniel was still around I'd owe him a hundred...' Jack said to Teal'c. 'So we have a treaty with this Shadow Proclamation. Who else?'

'A few here and there, I'm not permitted to tell you exactly. Lets just say the System Lords are fair game, anyone else is questionable.' The Englishman took a drink from his glass. 'Speaking of, I've been told to ask you, have the Asguard shown an interest in the engines on the Prometheus?'

That threw Carter. 'Why urm yes... but our deal with your rocket group means we can't show them how they work.'

'Sorry what?' Jack had to ask.

At this Carter looked more than a bit sheepish. 'Well you see the Asguard and Goa'uld engines are too powerful for our generators. So we needed a more efficient thruster. The British Rocket Group built one... in the 1960's.'

'So... our brand new super-powerful spaceship is powered by a pair of jet's designed by some British guy in the sixties?'

'Yeah... when you put it that way.'

'Carter, those are the only bits that work right.'

Lethbridge-Stewart coughed politely. 'In the Major's defence, the theory for those thrusters were tested on a working generator. It was salvaged from crashed ship found under London during the fifties. Sadly whatever thrusters they had at the time were long gone when Professor Quatermass and his team made the discovery.'

'But why would the Asguard be interested in them?' Teal'c rumbled

It was Carter that answered. 'While the Prometheus is slow, compared to an Asguard ship it's only because we don't have enough power. Potential wise the BRG's design is even faster not to mention more efficient than Asguard. Thing is as far as we can tell they work in a completely different way.'

Lethbridge-Stewart nodded. 'We're currently installing the next generation of them on to our new airship. The Valiant. You see UNIT is still going strong, both as a defence force and in developing new defence technologies. It's this that means we have to talk. As a multinational defence force it's our job to protect all countries and nations of this world from random attacks. You have gone out of your way to take actions and form alliances against the Goa'uld. There's been some talk about that.'

'Talk?'

'UNIT HQ in Geneva has decided to make you an offer. I'm here to present it, Goa'uld attacks are now your providence exclusively. UNIT will inform you if we hear anything but aside from that we will only take action if asked or we are informed you are incapable of acting.'

'And what does the SGC get for being hung out to dry.' Jack asked pointedly.

'Besides the next generation design for our thrusters the united states government will be invited to sign on as a full member of the UNIT Council. As such when you need our support and technology you have it, but only for use against extraterrestrial threats. You take action against another nation with advanced science and UNIT takes action against you.'

'That sounds... final.' Jonas said

'It should, UNIT has strong ties with Torchwood and they have been salvaging alien technology for more than a hundred years. We have some... impressive equipment.'

'I'm sorry?' Carter said, choking down a mouthful of ale. 'Who the hell are Torchwood.'

'I'm afraid that is classified. Realistically I'm not even supposed to know their name, or that they exist.'

'So why are you telling us?'

'Because the young man in the second world war trench coat over there works for them.' Lethbridge-Stewart nodded at a man at the bar. 'Thought I'd best warn you, I don't think they'll make contact but you never know.'

* * *

George Hammond shook the hand of the RAF Colonel. 'It's good to meet you, I'm surprised your government was this fast in setting up a representative.'

'Well we always like to work closely with our allies' The Englishman answered with an easy smile. 'And when I heard about facility, well you couldn't keep me away.'

There was a knock on the door. 'General?' Jack sauntered in. 'There was a message at the gate that you wanted to see me when I got back.' He cast a glance at the other officer.

'Ahh, good timing Jack. This is Colonel Marsters of the RAF. Our ambassador to the UK military.' George introduced him.

'Ahh Colonel O'Neill I presume. I understand you've just returned from a meeting with Lethbridge-Stewart. He's an old friend of mine.' The other Colonel tilted his head.

'Yeah, I'd like to talk with you about that General. When you've got a minute.'

'Sure Jack, but before you do I'd like you to give a quick tour of a the SGC to Colonel Marsters.'

'If it's not too much trouble.' Marsters supplied.

Jack looked at George for a moment. 'It's nothing that can't wait. So let's get going... Urm what's your first name?'

'Err... John. John Marsters.' he said picking up his hat.

'Alright John, you can call me Jack. It's this way first I think.' Marsters nodded to George and followed Jack. 'By the way,' the leader of SG-1 asked as they left the office. 'What's with the goatee "beard of evil"?'

'I'm a traditionalist.' the man said with out missing a beat.

Authors note

No prizes for guessing who he is. Stay tuned for the next chapter


	19. A Warped Reflection

Of Gods Men and Monsters  
A Warped Reflection

Authors note  
Back to the random crossovers I'm afraid. The Masters plan is going to take a back seat for a while...

* * *

Daniel tried not to blink owlishly as he made his way into the locker room. If Janet found out he'd pulled another all night session she'd kill him. Or worse, ban him from base for a week again. She might know what the human body was capable of but archaeologists are made of sterner stuff. Of course you try to tell her or a certain colonel that and watch what happens.

Luckily he was awake enough to glance at the timetable on the side of the door. A multi million dollar facility charged with protecting the whole world and only one locker room. He was sure that some where along the line there was a great cosmic joke there. According to the sheet it was the men's for another half hour.

Cursing at the time of day, he could have sworn it was a lot earlier than that, Daniel went in. Siler, wrench in hand, was just coming out and as both of them hadn't been off base in something like three days bumped into him. 'Sorry Doctor Jackson.' The two of them had an agreement; don't tell Janet or hide the coffee. They usually answered the "Have you seen..." question with:- "I think I saw him leave about an hour ago." No one believe them anymore but hey.

'It's alright. Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and caught his sprouting bristles. God he needed a shave. In the room there were a couple of marines and Dr Lee. The new scientist still had the wide eyed enthusiasm of someone who hadn't been blown up, shot and or imprisoned. Daniel would give him about a week before going just as nuts as the rest of them.

It took him about five minuets and a shower later to realise that he was thinking like Jack. Looking around it was just him left. Well this close to the change over most people were long gone. 'Another all night-er?'

Speak of the devil. 'Morning Jack.'

'Don't take this the wrong way but what the heck are you doing in today Danny?' his friend asked.

'Finishing the translation from P4X-whatever. Just don't tell Janet okay.' Daniel asked as he pulled his wash bag out.

Jack, leaning against his own locker just shook his head. 'I don't have to. It's your day off.'

'Can't be that's... Wednesday.'

'It is Wednesday.' Jack grinned.

'Which Wednesday?'

'The one you, Carter and all of us have off'

Daniel blinked and unpacked his shaving kit. Counting the days he realised Jack was right. 'What are you doing in then?'

Jack winced 'Hammond has the bean counters in. He needs back up and it comes with the job.'

'Oh, make sure my department gets it budget.' Daniel ran the hot tap, he needed scalding hot water this morning.

'Why? That was going to be the first thing we cut.' Jack joked

Daniel wasn't in the mood. 'Then I tell Janet it's your fault I have to work all night.' Daniel said with an evil grin and looked in the mirror.

'You wouldn't.' Daniel wasn't listing. He was trying very hard not to spin on the spot. Reflected in the mirror, hidden behind his open locker door, was a small girl with a red balloon.

With painful casualness Daniel turned. He tried to make it look like he was talking to Jack. Instead he was looking out of the corner of his eye. The girl wasn't there. 'What is it?' Jack whispered

'I'm either seeing things or there's something very weird going on with the mirror.' Daniel admitted. Do me a favour, have a look in it and tell me do you see something hiding behind my locker door.'

'You have been awake way too long. Get some sleep.' Jack laughed and took a moment to glance at the mirror. Daniel could see that he had seen the girl too. ;this thing you saw, it wouldn't be a little girl...

'...with a red balloon in their hand. Yes Jack it would.'

'Oh good, I wouldn't like to think I was seeing things.' The colonel muttered. 'Daniel why is there...'

'You're asking me?'

'There's no one else here.'

'You have a point.' Daniel admitted.

As he did there was a knock on the door. 'Is there anyone...' a familiar voice began to ask.

'Carter, what the... It's our day off!'

'Sir? that's... oh.' The astrophysicist blinked and Daniel suspected she would be in just as much trouble with Janet.

'Today, yes Carter. Our first one in two years no less. Do either of you know how long I bugged the general for this?'

'Two years... Sir.' Sam added and Daniel bit his tongue.

'Well yes. But seeming you're here can you do us a favour. Have a look in the mirror.' Jack asked and Sam's eyes flashed dangerously

Daniel didn't know much about women but he did know that taken the wrong way, or at the wrong time. Like, say, at the end of an all night research session saying something like that could be insulting. 'We think we saw something in it.'

Sam frowned at the two of them and had a look. She didn't bother being subtle, like she was watching a ping pong match Sam's head bounced from mirror to locker and back to mirror. 'That's not...'

The little girl in the reflection gave a little jump and ran out of the mirrors edge. 'Think it was cloaked, or out of phase?' Daniel asked her

Sam was busy trying to look behind the wall. 'No, well I don't think so. If it was invisible to the naked eye the girl's mirror image should obey exactly the same rules. Whatever it was it was in the mirror.' she suddenly stopped and looked back at them. 'Is this something the two of you set up?'

Jack shook his head in time with Daniel. 'No.' he said 'Trust me Carter I'm just as freaked as you.'

'Well if this is a trick I have no idea how you did it.'

'It wasn't us Sam. I don't think it was a trick though.'

'Does it matter?' Jack asked pointedly. 'No one will ever believe us. Can we just chalk this up to the fact that the three of us haven't had a whole day off in three years and we need a break?'

'That's what everyone else would say.' Daniel reasoned and Sam nodded before add

'So... seeming it's my day off, sir, I'm just gonna freshen up in what is now the Women's locker room. If the two of you would.' Pointedly she packed up Daniel's shaving kit and put it away.

'Sure Carter, but just don't forget to sign out.' Jack grabbed Daniel's arm. 'I'm taking the space monkey with me and throwing him out. Come on.'

Outside Daniel rubbed his chin. 'Jack I haven't saved in two days.'

'Oh just go with it, the new look works.' the Colonel smiled. 'You know it's a bad sign that of the four of us only T took the day off the base.'

Daniel thought on that for a moment; 'Jack, isn't Teal'c's family coming here today.'

'He's still on base?'

'Yes, I mean as far as I know.'

'After today we're going to need another day off aren't we?'

* * *

George looked up at the knock on his door, 'General.' his second in command asked

'Jack, what are you doing here. Isn't this your day off?' George sat back, he was a bit confused, everyone knew how much Jack valued his free time. 'Shouldn't you be fishing about now?'

'It is and I'm beginning to wish I was fishing but you asked me to sit in on your oh so important meeting with the accountants.' George's subordinate sat down against the desk by the wall.

'I did, but that meeting's next week.' George explained picking up the folder and double checking the post-it note.

Jack blinked at him and then the folder before hanging his head

* * *

End of a Warped Reflection

Authors note  
Just so you know the girl in the mirror was of course "Sister of Mine" from the 2007 two part episodes Human Nature and The Family Of Blood.

And you've got to feel sort for Jack, he always seems to get the wrong end of the jokes in this story. Speaking of, next chapter his mini-clone has a visitor. A scientist of rather dubious morals...


	20. Research and Lab Rats

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Research and Lab Rats

Authors note:-  
Time to bring out another exile from the villains gallery... Also I'm going to pull out an old favourite for Stargate fans. Mini-Jack

Edit:- This is the second draft, there were a few bits that needed cleaning up.

* * *

Jack had a splitting headache. Last thing he could remember he had finished another oh so exiting day at high school and was on his way to his little apartment when blam, he had a headache.

It wasn't a hangover, he was still too young to drink and it didn't feel like one. If anything it felt like he'd been stunned. 'Oh no.' He muttered, shaking himself awake. Jack tried to raise his arms, but found they were strapped down to something. A chair like thing that he was sitting on. Opening one eye he looked around, the light stabbing into brain for a moment.

It was a smallish room made of six grey walls, on the furthest there was the only door. There was also a table with a row of neatly arranged gismos on it between him and it. A big monitor screen stood off to one side, showing his teenage self and a spinning, twisted, ladder he recognised as something to do with DNA. As he watched it little circles with indents appearing on them spun around the rungs of the ladder and some sort of writing he couldn't make out scrolled beneath it.

A tall woman with dark hair and scarlet trouser suit walked in, tapping away at a palm pilot covered covered in big colourful buttons. She looked all business and efficiency, with a hint of mad scientist thrown in. 'Let me guess, the NID? What took you guys so long?' Jack asked her, struggling.

The woman didn't answer, she just looked at the screen and tapped the palm console again. The picture of him vanished and the DNA spread across the screen. She typed out some more and each little bit of the ladder began glowing a different rainbow colour. 'So what's that for?' Jack asked again. As much as he struggled the bonds didn't even creak.

She just moved over to the table and put the palm computer down. Picking up something with far too many pointy bits for Jack's liking she waved it like a wand over the screen and fiddled with a little wheel on it's side. The rainbow shifted like it was selecting different parts. One little part began flashing. 'Ahh there it is.' She said in an upper-class English accent

'There what is?' The woman still didn't answer, she just waved the thing in his direction and played with it some more. At first it was just a slight itching that crept across his arms then she pointed the sharpest end directly at him.

It was like someone driving a hundred thousand needles into him and then yanked them out at once. It wasn't a burning sensation just solid pain. Back when he... when the other him was tortured he wouldn't have shouted. Not wanting to give them the satisfaction os seeing his pain. He didn't know if she was just naturally better at it if his teenage body was just weak or it was the shock. As he shouted he felt himself black out.

Coming too again Jack couldn't tell how long he was out but it couldn't have been long. 'Hum.' She pondered. 'Good recovery time, quite strong apparently. Curious.' she said typing again at the little console.

'Who the hell are you?' Jack ground out at her. 'And what the hell did you just do?' He was in no mood for playing about.

After a second she shrugged. 'I removed an artificial genetic implant. From the code sequence it originated in another galaxy. I detected it's signature in passing, the question is why someone with such technology would bother to tag you.'

'That's not the only tag you know...'

'No, you are quite right. There is the sub-dermal radio-wave beacon in the hollow of your left elbow and a further one built into your wallet. Both are of your world and no longer functioning.' She said as a matter of fact and turned to the monitor again. The picture was now much darker and seemed to be divided into four different colours. 'Ahh so it was that marker interfering with my readings. It's job was to camouflage certain aspects of your biological code.'

Jack guessed that would be the marker Thor said he put there for the larger, original him's, protection. 'Didn't do a good enough job then did it.'

'Oh no.' She waved a finger, sounding every inch a school teacher lecturing a underachieving student. 'Primitive technology like yours would never see it. Nor would anyone less advanced than those that put it there.'

'Oh crap.' Jack winced, that could only mean one thing. This wasn't NID playing games, this was freaky alien playing scientist. 'So, do I get to find out what you learned or am I not worth it.'

She wasn't paying him any attention, instead she was inspecting the screen. 'Well aren't you an interesting combination. You are a clone of a half-breed. Some where in your donors ancestral background there is a person not of your world. In matter of fact I doubt they were of this galaxy.'

'Who are you?' Jack just had to ask again.

Once again she didn't answer, just played about with her controls. The DNA strand broke into three parts. 'Lets see, spacial vectors and the sort of technology to put you together. Definitely three separate races involved in your construction. The original coding is mostly from this world, a healthy cross section of the population.' She pointed at the least complete of the three. 'The alien code originated from another galaxy. The Alteran race. That would explain why whoever cloned you did so. They were interested in you advanced genetics.'

'Who. Are. You?'

She pulled out a pair of glasses and looked at the third and final bit on the screen. 'So who were they? And why would they go to so much trouble.' Jack struggled again. 'Asguard. Of course it is. The Alteran race was more advanced, genetically at least. They need your further advanced biological code to save their existence. If they are this desperate perhaps a study in their own development and eventual extinction would be useful after all.'

'So you're some sort of inter-galactic what... Zoologist?'

She took off her glasses and finally looked at him. 'Intergalactic Zoologist. That will do.' She pocketed the glasses. 'For the time being.' There was something in her eyes, Jack got the feeling he was nothing more than a fascinating insect to her. 'I am The Rani. In due time I will return you, more or less intact, to your time and place. Until then please don't try to fight me. I don't wish you damaged before my tests are completed.' With that she picked up her console and left.

'Oh just great.' Jack sighed.

* * *

Loki watched the happenings out of his improvised cell. Thor and the High Council were not willing to let him out out of their sights again. His sparse quarters had been inventoried and his personal computer reprogrammed to restrict his movements. Also his personal activation codes had been revoked, turning his quarters into a prison.

In his opinion that was a little harsh, all he had done was take a human for study. O'Neill was unharmed and other than the slight problem with the clone there was no lasting results. Still that did inform him about one problem with humans, why did they all have to look the same?

At first he hadn't seen any problem with the clone. Only side by side could he tell the difference. The clone was slightly taller, or was that the original? It didn't matter and if the humans hadn't been so picky no one would have been any the wiser. O'Neill wasn't the answer, but he was a huge step forward. Some more work with the samples he had taken was in order.

It was fortunate they had let him keep the data, even if he was monitored all the time. The small Asguard biologist went to his plinth and began manipulating the stones attached to it. He was so engrossed in his fruitless work he almost missed the low grinding sound that filled the room.

Looking around for the source of the noise Loki couldn't see anything and the grinding stopped with a hollow clang. Reasoning it must have been the spaceship dry-dock he lived under these days he got back to work.

A few moments later he was hit by an energy pulse and fell, boneless, to the floor. A tall human looking woman dressed in a red suit pulled off a crystal ring and cast a professional glance over the read out before saying critically:- 'Amateur.'

End Research and Lab Rats


	21. Interlude 4: Somewhere In Heaven

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Interlude 04  
Somewhere In Heaven

Authors note:-  
I've been out of the woods ignoring this one for awhile, well we're back and rocking.

This one isn't set in the usual SG-1 time line. In fact it's set before the first film and Daniel Jackson is nothing but a research assistant...

* * *

Daniel looked over the pile of books in front of him. It just didn't add up, he had proof that the evidence dating the pyramids was faked. His problem was it wasn't enough that he could disprove one theory. He needed something to replace it with but there wasn't anything.

He could prove that the pyramids were older than established, way older. Piecing little bits of ignored facts together from here and there. It was a stretch, but it worked and that stretch was going to destroy his rather dented reputation. Daniel wasn't a maverick as such, but he was already well known in certain circles for not let something go and not accepting other's work at face value.

Sarah had pulled him up on this sort of thing before, last time when he went down this way with the cross pollination of cultures in the ancient world.

There had been a lot of research into how some cultures contained similar legends and stories of the past. Most of the time leading to obscure theories of contact between the cultures. Unsurprisingly several experts had presented their opinions on why and how. Several were even considered to be accurate and supported each other. Daniel had noticed that a lot of their evidence had been deliberately misinterpreted so that it would fit whatever half baked idea they had.

That was his problem. What if, no matter how well intentioned, he was reading the evidence wrong. Unconsciously seeing it how he wanted. He had to be, otherwise the answer was too big for him. Right so what did he know:-

The pyramids were a lot older than people thought, that was a fact that could not be read wrong. Dating various sections also showed they were built a lot faster than thought, a few months if he was reading the results right. There was no way slaves could have put them up in that speed. So someone had to help and that someone had to be more advanced.

It was at that point his theory would be printed in the Weekly World News, somewhere between the little grey men and Elvis. Daniel knew he had to be wrong. He had to find the answer, the right answer that fitted the facts and didn't end up with him thrown into a padded cell.

Aimlessly he picked up a random book and flicked through it, after a more than few blank pages he frowned and looked at the front. Not only had he picked up his own note book but he had it upside down.

Sighing Daniel threw it to one side and took off his glasses. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had coffee, let alone sleep. A quick glance at the clock told him it was past ten and the sun streaming out the window told him which side of the morning he was on. Working for Dr. Jordan meant that he shared his room with Steven, the was no love lost between the two research assistants and as soon as he got a look at what Daniel was working on he'd never hear the end of it.

Packing up his work he was careful to get the books in the right places. Stuffing his papers and notebook into his bag Daniel got out of the office just in time to bump into his fellow assistant. 'Steven, you're early. Don't you usually get in after twelve?'

'Well unlike you Daniel I spend time with my friends. Speaking of, talked with Sarah recently?' the shorter man rubbed it in. The pair of them had broken up two weeks ago and it was still a sore spot for both of them.

The problem was Daniel couldn't defend himself. They had grown apart, mostly because he pulled all night sessions working on this damned career destroying idea. Shaking his head the only thing Daniel could do was mutter, 'You're a real ass, you know that.' Before heading off. Walking down the corridor Daniel could feel the man's smirk.

Signing out on the front desk Daniel made it straight across the road and into the coffee shop there. Jim, the owner, was behind the percolator when the bell on the door rung. He waved Daniel over to a seat. Almost as soon as he sat down Jim was bringing a tall mug of coffee over. 'I saw you crossing the road Dr Jackson. Another late night?'

'Afraid so Jim.' Daniel was one of his best customers and everyone knew it. 'Thanks for the coffee.'

'Don't mention it.' He nodded and went back to the counter. Jim was a friend, sort of, but he had no patience for archaeology. What Daniel would have liked someone to bounce ideas off. On the other hand he did make good coffee.

Pulling out his notebook Daniel went over the theory he'd scribbled down again and the list of evidence. It was getting him nowhere, but it was like an itch he had to scratch. Until he got an answer that worked it was going to bug him.

'Ahem.' Someone coughed politely pulling Daniel from his thoughts. Looking up he saw a strange man with what could be called an inquisitive look on his face. 'Hello, sorry I was passing by the window and saw your book.'

'Yes?' Daniel said carefully, it was a gift and a little joke from Sarah. A rather expensive bound book with his name written on the cover in Egyptian hieroglyphs.

'Dr Jackson I take it, may I.' Daniel put the book down and got his first good look at the stranger, short-ish in a dirty cream suit and a brown jumper underneath that screamed archaeologist. He also had a straw hat he put on top of a red handled umbrella.

'Okay.' Daniel said cautiously. 'but why would you want to?'

'You look like a man with a problem. Maybe I can help. Can't hurt can it?' He smiled before introducing himself. 'John Smith, Doctor.'

'Ancient Egyptology?'

'As a hobby. Mostly.'

Daniel decided to take a chance with it. He'd already shown he knew hieroglyphs well enough. 'My problem is I have evidence that say's the pyramids are a lot older than we think. By thousands of years. Our whole timeline of Ancient Egypt is wrong but I can't say why.'

'That's important.' Smith nodded. 'If you have evidence present it. Someone must listen.'

Daniel shook his head. 'Evidence isn't enough, if I'm going to accuse almost a century worth of experts of being wrong or out right lying I need more. I need my own explanation and I don't have one.'

Smith looked back at him with a slight grin; 'An archaeologist without an explanation? I don't believe that.'

'Okay, I do. But it doesn't make sense. The pyramids are older, not only that I don't think they were built as tombs. They were modified later and that's what people are using to date them. With the outside all but stripped and the inside gutted whatever we have can't be trusted.'

'Now that's a thought.' Smith sat back, 'And a dangerous one. If you're right there is something a lot bigger behind them. It's still a mystery how they built them in the first place, now you're saying why is also an unknown. If you find out why you have your answer.'

'And If it doesn't make sense, or reason?'

Smith smiled as if it was a secret joke. 'An old friend of mine once said if you eliminate the impossible, what ever is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.'

Daniel nodded. 'Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I've heard it before.'

'Actually he was quoting someone else. The question is what's left.'

Daniel swallowed his pride; 'Aliens, some sort of advanced civilisation there's no evidence left of. What are the chances of that?'

'Same as someone getting the dates wrong of some of the most important monuments on the planet and not checking them. If you're right Dr Jackson you might have just discovered one of the biggest secrets on the planet. You're just going to dismiss that?'

* * *

Oma Desala blinked, that was the second thing she wasn't used to doing. The first was waking up. After ascension you didn't need to do either of those things. Someone had sent for her, they were powerful and knew what they were doing. Both of which was worrying.

Looking around she was in a large domed room made of hexagons, like a beehive. On one side there was a short tunnel with a pair of doors. She felt a deep inner peace almost radiating from the walls. Something about the room was effecting her, an ethereal stillness like that of a sacred monastery only much stronger.

Still there would be time to wonder and discover later she had to leave, shifting her body into energy she tried to phase away. Somehow the stillness stopped her, transforming back into her human body Oma headed for the doors.

Before she made it that far, however, they opened and a strange man stood in her way. He wore a pale jacket over a dark brown jumper. A red handled umbrella was in the jacket's top pocket. 'Who are you? How and why have you done this?' Oma didn't like questions, once ascended she should be able to instantly understand everything.

The strange man took off his white hat and smiled. 'I am a Time Lord and I need allies. A rogue member of my people is enacting a plan that could endanger the whole universe.'

Oma had heard of the Time Lords all her life, legends and fables for the most part. Once ascended she'd seen their hand in destiny, all her people had. She had spent several centuries studying them. Most of their knowledge was hidden and clouded by the passage of time. Despite all their power Ascended were still chained to time. They could bend it, twist it and even knot it, but to travel backwards and forwards at will was not possible.

'Nothing can endanger the universe. It is infinite.' Oma said

The man just looked back, sadly, and said. 'Everything ends eventually. Even the universe.'

'Then why do you try to stop it, if it is inevitable?'

The Time Lord chuckled; 'Why breathe? Why laugh? Why read poetry on a dark night? Why make friends when you just lose them? That's life Oma. It doesn't matter that it ends. Just that you make use of it.'

Oma looked at him. He had a sad, distant look as if remembering all that he had lost. 'This rogue, can they do it?'

'His name is the Master. He can do anything he sets his mind to. He's almost as good as me.' The Time Lord said with out a hint of irony and Oma nodded. After his summoning of her she was willing to believe he had resources she didn't. 'I need you to do me a favour.'

'A favour?' Oma asked carefully

'An, old friend of mine is not feeling so well. He's dying of extreme radiation poisoning.'

'Can't you do anything?' She asked.

The strange man shook his head. 'No, my people have another way of dealing with that sort of damage. One that isn't available to my friend, not now. You, however, can offer you're own solution.' He offered a smile. 'Besides I think you've met him already.'

End Interlude 04


	22. Playing Games

Of Gods Men and Monsters  
Playing Games

Sam stepped out of the event horizon and looked around and almost tripped over. The gate was at an odd angle, just like the MALP had shown. Looking around she could see why Daniel was so hot on this place, it was an Aladdin's cave of artefacts and a good few of them weren't Goa'uld or Ancient.

'Looks like someone's been collecting.' The Colonel quipped. Sam was more interested as to why the Gate wasn't upright. A quick check showed that it wasn't even installed anywhere. Just propped up against the wall.

'Well this is new sir. Looks like whoever owned this place moved the gate here at one point and never got around to setting it up.' she said. 'They might not even have known what it is.'

Daniel was leafing through a stack of papers on a desk. 'You're right about that Sam. According to these reports it was found on a third moon in an abandoned unknown outpost.' He put the paper down.

'So someone was running their own version of an Apollo program and bringing back all this stuff?' The Colonel asked.

'Looks like. They weren't doing very well. According to this the funding was running out out.' Daniel said hefting another file. 'Budget cut backs.' he said with distaste and dropped the file. Kicking up a cloud of dust that sent him coughing and the Colonel rolling his eyes.

'I do not think that was what happened here.' Teal'c said from the other side of the room. Sam and the Colonel jogged over, they found Teal'c standing over a well decayed body.

'What is it?' Daniel asked, something had caught his attention and he'd held back.

Sam told him as she inspected what was left the body. An ugly burn mark on it's rotting uniform looked like a Staff blast. Not good news. They were right next to the door so the Colonel looked outside.

'Running battle.' He said poking his head back. 'Must have happened years ago though. T, come with me. We'll see what we can find out. Carter, Space monkey. Stay here, we'll check in every five minutes.'

She nodded. 'I'll double check the gate sir. Incase we need to make a quick getaway.'

'Good idea Carter.' he nodded and left.

Daniel had found a dust cover from somewhere and put it over the body. 'Where you find that?' she asked him.

'Just over there, I found something I want you to look at too.' He pointed at a small stone obelisk about shoulder height. just where he had been.

'What is it?' She asked.

'It's not local and I haven't a clue what it's for.' He admitted as they got close. 'This world seems to use a derive of ancient Greek so the symbols are the mostly the same but it's nonsense. Like it's not a language at all but just a series of random letters.' He pointed at a caved face of the stone monument.

There were times when her team mate could be painfully obtuse, often Sam thought he was just trying to catch the Colonel out. They both knew he was smarter than he liked to let on. Thing was the Colonel wasn't there. She cocked an eyebrow at him and waited.

'You see ancient Greek letters are used in Maths...'

Sam blinked and looked again. He was right, it was a mathematical equation. 'Why didn't I see that?'

'Maybe because we were both looking at it as words not numbers. I would have scratched my head for hours if I hadn't seen this.' He pointed at two spirals, one on top of the other, sort of like the letter S

'I've seen that before.' Sam said, she just couldn't place it.

'Probably in passing, or something in my office.' Daniel explained. 'My department's been finding it all over the galaxy. No connection to anything, but we've only found half a dozen examples over the years. It's older than the Goa'uld, maybe even as old as the Ancients.'

'Ever seen it on something like this?' Sam walked around the stone. It had six sides, each with it's own equation. It would take a while to work them out. Whoever had done this was good.

'Nope, I've not even seen with any writing before.'

'Then how did you guess...'

'...It was maths?' Daniel finished with serious look. 'Because everything this has turned up on has been odd. Like a double edged sword, it looks like one thing but it does something else entirely.'

Sam took a step back. 'I don't like the sound of that.' She looked at the equation again. 'What sort of technology is there? In the other objects I mean.'

'Technology?' he blinked. 'Nothing spectacular. They've all been harmless. Mostly just metal shapes that cleverly unfold or a jewel that refracts specific coloured light like a prism. Why?'

Sam walked around again, it wasn't six equations. It was one single math puzzle. 'Because whoever built this is a mathematics genius.'

Her radio crackled. 'Carter, whatever happened here was a long time ago. How's it going over there.' The Colonel reported.

Sam tapped the button on the side and tried not to smile. 'Daniel's just found evidence of another civilisation from before the dawn of time.'

'Dammit. I lost count, is that the fifth?'

'Sixth.' Sam answered him.

'And you owe me fifty dollars O'Neill.' Teal'c rumbled over the radio smugly.

'We're on our way back.'

Daniel coughed, 'Did Jack bet against me finding anything this mission?'

'Sounds like he did.' Sam chuckled. 'Teaches him right.' She looked back at the puzzle Whoever could think like this would have to have something more advanced than stone. it must have been chosen for effect. Strange.

After a moment Daniel asked her; 'What did you mean when you said a mathematics genius?'

Sam walked around the opposite way around, seeing if it made sense that way. 'If he's going to leave something like this lying about he has to be.' Sam dashed back around and took a guess. 'It's six dimensional mathematics, with the answer transcending into the ninth. It pretty much revolutionises mathematical theory.'

There was a long pause as the Colonel and Teal'c came back. 'And that means?' the archaeologist asked again.

'Sorry.' Sam collected her thoughts. 'Most equations are liner; two plus two is four and the like. With non-liner equations you have the answer before the whole question and you have to work back. Dimensional mathematics means you have to find the result of all sides before you can find the answer to the first.'

'A brain teaser?'

'More than that.' Sam tried to wrap her mind around it. 'This is like the Darwin of Mathematics. It can change our understanding of the universe.'

'Can you make heads or tails of it?' The Colonel asked. 'Or is it just some geek showing off how cleaver he is?'

Sam shrugged. 'I think so. You see they've left out the base line. we're not supposed to figure it out.'

'Unless the shape has something to do with it? What if six a clue?'

Sam took a step back, metaphorically at least. 'Good thinking Daniel and you're sort of right. We don't need numbers, its the equation we have to prove. It's like a test, a hyper-complex problem with a simple answer.'

'What does that achieve?' Rumbled Teal'c

Sam looked at it with fresh eyes. Every equation contained similar symbols but in different locations. Only one didn't change. 'I don't know, but the answer is the symbol that represents the final solution, this one.' Sam touched the twin spiral S shape and immediately realised she shouldn't have.

It sounded like someone had plucked a single perfect note on a harp before the obelisk shook and there was a flash.

* * *

Jack felt like he had just fallen down the rabbit hole. 'Carter, did you for get the rule of no touching dangerous things?' He was on his face spiting out dust. What was worse, the floor was cold and felt like marble. Not the concrete it was supposed to be.

Knees protesting Jack got to his feet and got a bad feeling. 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Dorothy.' They weren't.

It was a big hall, a grand tomb took up the centre of the room. To one side was another one of those stone things that had taken them here.

Carter was back on her feet. 'Sorry sir, I guess it was a booby trap.'

'You can bet on that Carter.'

Daniel was still on the floor lying on his back, his heavy pack stopping him from getting up quickly. 'I'd say it was an anti-booby trap.' T helped him up. 'Thanks Teal'c. I think, if you're clever enough to figure it out, it takes you here. Where ever here is.'

Jack thought about that. 'So we're wanted because we're clever enough to set off the obvious trap. Love your thinking Danny, but if its an invitation to dinner we need to know if we're guests or main course.' He looked around. There was an archway to one side that looked like it went nowhere and on the opposite wall an entrance.

Looking at the tomb again what Jack thought was a statue at first was in fact a body. It looked dead, very dead but perfectly preserved. The bier was on some sort of alter and dressed in gaudy robes.

Daniel, being Daniel, headed right for it. 'Amazing, there's no decay. Nothing.' There was another, almost bell like, note plucked on thin air and the shadows above them shimmered with a face. It didn't look old, just the wrong side of middle age. Bearded and wearing a gold and ruby crown.

The same face and head gear as the dead man. Daniel had set off another god damn trigger.

'Get back here!' Jack barked. 'What did I just tell Carter?' He practically shouted at Daniel.

The floating head chuckled. 'Be not afraid... for it will not help you.' It took a deep breath and Jack got the feeling this was no simple recording. 'These are the games of Rassilon. Welcome to the Death Zone.'

Jack looked up and got a sinking feeling. 'That doesn't sound good.'

To Be Continued...


	23. Traps of the Mind

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Traps of the Mind

* * *

Authors note:-  
You didn't expect me to pick up where I left of... Did you?

* * *

The office, if you could call it that, consisted of a folding table, a tiny computer so primitive it was laughable and a light bulb. Over the work space was a bunk bed including a mattress and two blankets. he felt was there mostly for show, as there was no reason even he could think of to actually use the uncomfortable pallet.

On the other side of the cramped room sat a plain grey wardrobe that showed his hosts had absolutely no imagination when it came to colour, hardly a surprise. He had quickly replaced it with his TARDIS.

It wasn't that difficult, just a precision landing in a confined space. The Master always had prided himself on his attention to detail of course. It wasn't as if he had a choice either. There wasn't that many options available after all. Humans seemed to practice reverse dimensional engineering, experts at making things smaller on the inside than out.

Replacing the UNIT representative was child's play, literally. What was left of him would make a good child's toy after all and he needed to be here.

It was one thing to hear about the SGC from Samantha, it was another to visit and draw his own conclusions. After all when you live and work in a place you might miss details. Small things Samantha wouldn't notice, but vital to the plan. Everything had to unfold correctly. In the right order, if there was a problem he would adapt.

Leaning back the Master activated his pathetic excuse for a computer and brought up the the report files he had been given access to.

You could tell a lot about a person from what they saw and remembered. For example dear Samantha's reports were focused on how everything worked, her scientific mind always analysing to the smallest detail.

Colonel O'Neill was a warrior first and foremost. Always looking at things tactically and assessing the situation as quickly as he could. He also disliked reports, missing out parts or only mentioning them in passing to fill the space. Jonas Quinn on the other hand was an expert at reports; detailed and efficient, but lacking Samantha's some times long winded approach. He took a lot of care into how people saw him.

The Jaffa, Teal'c, had the same approach to O'Neill. Both being men of action only he used fewer words. The Master could tell they both would be far happier on the battlefield than writing. It would be a common mistake to confuse their reluctance with ignorance or stupidity. They were neither.

It was an important detail. Samantha, like most exceedingly intelligent people, underestimated others. While it was true O'Neill had no head for figures he was were far from the fool he pretended to be. This was why he needed first hand experience of the facility. The Master had learned from making that mistake, the Doctor's antics had thrown his estimation of the fellow Time Lord too many the Master left the small room a flashing red light came on in the hallway, quickly followed by a loud alarm and a man calling 'Unscheduled off-world activation.' He sighed, it wasn't what you'd call a peaceful or quiet working environment. Several heavily armed and armoured men rushed past, carrying barricades and equipment.

His "office" was, by some delicious twist of fate, close to the infirmary. When the men had finished running around the Master quickly stepped inside. medics always kept themselves informed, keeping out of the spotlight but up to date. Perfect for him.

'Colonel Marsters, is there something I can do for you?' the small medic in charge asked. He wouldn't think her as a Doctor for obvious reasons.

They had been introduced during is short tour by O'Neill. The Master had found her interesting. Both friendly but guarded around people she didn't know very well. That just meant he had to be his usual charming self. 'Not really Janet, I take it the alarms are normal around here.' He gestured at the medical staff who were running around trying to clear bed space with practised efficiency.

'Once or twice a week John.' Janet admitted, dropping the rank. 'SG-1 are still on base at the moment so it could be anything. If they were off world you could guarantee a disaster' She wasn't really looking at him, more dividing her attention from doorway to phone and back. He just happened to be between the two.

'I've heard that before, its a shame they never seem to catch a brake. Still you look busy. I'll just be getting out of your way.' The Master nodded and quietly stepped out. This could be a problem; the medic was well trained, had access to advanced medical equipment and had a close friendship with Samantha. If he pushed too quickly it would arouse her suspicions.

At last the infernal alarm stopped and the Master made his way to the control room. Without gun fire and the all clear it would be in character to see what had transpired in person. It wasn't a long walk and with a polite knock the Master entered.

'Ahh Colonel,' General Hammond said turning to face him. 'Nothing to worry about, the Tok'ra have some new information on Anubis. Apparently he's raiding outposts of his old rivals, looking for something. They'll let us know if they find out what.'

'Sound's like our allies enjoy keeping us up to date with useless information.'

The General nodded; 'That they do, only to cut us out when it becomes important.'

The Master smiled sarcastically. This was perfect. 'Well nothing new there, and that's why I'm here.' General Hammond looked shocked at the admission for a moment before nodding, matching the Masters smile.

'We'll keep you informed. Don't worry.'

'Thank you.' The Master said. Resisting the urge to sketch a mocking bow he turned and left.

* * *

Jonas looked across the cafeteria, the UNIT representative was happily eating what looked to be a heavily garnished salad. Trying not to stare he looked back at his book and frowned. His mind still busy with their guest.

'Is there something wrong Jonas Quinn?' Teal'c asked a few moments later as he sat down next to him.

'No. Just an odd feeling.' Jonas had a sip of coffee and tried to take his mind off it. 'How's Sam doing with her research?'

'Major Carter appears to be most upset. Project Bluebook was a passion of hers as a child, so she tells me. It disturbs her greatly that the British have operated their own version of the SGC for many years without her knowledge.'

Jonas shrugged. 'I can see why, how about you Teal'c? I mean look what the SGC has accomplished in six years. If UNIT had taken a bigger role earlier...' Jonas trailed off.

Teal'c looked thoughtful for a moment. 'I do not think so. Stargate Command would not have focused on fighting the Goa'uld if they had not attacked first. What have you learnt about their actions?'

'Other than Earth seems to have been attacked about twice a year from one powerful group or another? The Brigadier wasn't lying, I've gone through a lot of reports and it's not just alien forces. UNIT's been involved with everything from mad scientists to natural disasters all over the planet. They are mostly interested in defence as far as I can tell though.'

'Then what is your problem Jonas Quinn'

'It's not with them. It's with him over there.' Jonas said in a friendly tone trying not to draw attention. 'I can't put my finger on it but something about him feels off.'

Teal'c's face remained stoic but Jonas could tell they were thinking the same thing. 'I agree, as does O'Neill. He was not happy with his behaviour around Major Carter.'

It was surprising that Jack had picked up on the same thing, he wasn't' the most perceptive of people. 'Same here, felt like there was a joke involved and we didn't get the punch line.' Jonas said as Teal'c glanced at the door. He followed, Sam had come in and didn't even pick up a tray. She looked around intently and made strait for Masters. Not even noticing the two of them as she sat down next to him.

Jonas tried his best to shrug nonchalantly, as if she simply hadn't seen him. 'This is most worrying.' Teal'c said quietly, voicing his own fears.

'Indeed.' Muttered Jonas taking another sip of coffee.

End Tricks of the Mind


	24. Martian Geometry

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Martian Geometry

'Just dial the damn gate Daniel!' Jack shouted over the gunfire. Trust them to land slap bang in the middle of an alien cold war. As far as Jack and his team were able to gather they were on one of two inhabited moons. The two groups of people didn't like each other very much and were always trying to get one up on the other.

The sudden appearance of SG-1 slap bang in a museum, wearing what apparently looked like the other moon's special forces gear was like waving a red rag to a bull. Wouldn't you know it about five minutes later the whole place is swarming with trigger happy natives with space aged weapons.

'Jack, I'm sure if we just talk to the natives...' The archaeologist started to say from his cover of behind the DHD.

Jack heard the all to familiar click of an used magazine and ducked behind his column. Resisting the urge to growl at his friend he just gave him the patented O'Neill death glare while his hands pulled out the empty clip. Teal'c was behind his own column and had stopped firing for a moment. Probably to give his staff a chance to cool down. 'I do not believe they are willing to listen to us Daniel Jackson.'

It was the closest Jack had heard the former First Prime to being irritated. It was enough to get Daniel moving. Carter's clip ran dry and as she reloaded Jack pulled back the slide on his P90 and opened fire. As soon as Carter had a new clip in her gun they were going to have to pull back.

The bad guys might have been paranoid and gun happy but they weren't backwards. While Jack and his team had good old fashioned machine guns they had some sort of arc-lightning things that smelt like old fairground rides. Each burst left a little black scorch marks on everything, blowing up light bulbs and causing spent cartridges to jump all over the place. 'Can I just say I do not like this one bit and the next time SG-7 needs someone to cover a mission for them someone remind me not to say yes.'

'Indeed.'

'No arguments here sir.' Carter shouted as she began firing again and the gate did it's cool "Kawoosh" thing.

It was at that point the other side's reinforcements turned up. 'Perfect timing, lets get out of here!' Jack shouted and he and Teal'c pulled back, firing all the way. The four of them clustered around the DHD.

'So this is why you told me to never to volunteer for anything!' Daniel said as they all cowered under the silly looking lightning as it struck harmlessly on the Stargate.

'Just for that you're first through the gate. We'll give you cover.' Really it was because Jack didn't want him to go last and get shot. meaning another rescue mission, they were getting kinda repetitive. One by one they dashed as fast as they could up the short ramp and jumped through the upright pond. Jack was the last to go through, just behind Carter. Dropping one shoulder Jack combat rolled through the wormhole, ducking a nasty blast he saw coming for his head.

There was a moment between one side of the Stargate and another where Jack could feel himself flying through the wormhole. It was an intense and thrilling feeling, passing through the universe, only this time it passed far too fast. On the other side, instead of the SGC, was sent flying out into a big room. Skidding across the floor like a hockey puck he came to a painful stop as his shoulder hit a wall. Badly, knocking him out.

He came too a few moments later, coughing up brown dust Jack carefully rolled onto his back. Still coughing he looked around and saw Carter on her feet with Daniel's help. 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Dorothy.'

'Good to see you're alright Sir. I did my ankle in on the landing.' Jack glanced at her feet, yep she had all her weight on one leg.

'I know what you mean, the less said about my shoulder the better.' Jack took a painful breath, he could tell his arm was dislocated. The doc was going to have a fun time when they got back. 'Daniel, damage?'

'The usual, landed on my head and now I think I've got concussion.' He winced. 'What's that, thirteen?'

'This year?' Carter answered, 'Twelve.'

Daniel frowned and blinked for a moment. 'This year, right.' He said unconvincingly. Oh Fraiser really was going to have a field day with that one.

Jack looked around but couldn't see their fourth member. 'Where's T gone?'

Daniel winced as he found a cut on his forehead. 'He's looking around outside. I think he's embarrassed.'

'T? Embarrassed? How?' Jack just had to ask but Daniel just about kept a straight face and looked away.

It was Carter who answered. 'He landed on his... "six", if you know what I mean sir.' Jack blinked, "six" was military parlance for ass.

'Ahh. Ouch.' Jack kept his face straight before putting up his good hand. 'One of you give me a hand here.'

Back on his feet Jack could get a lay of the land a bit better. They were in a cave but the walls were a little too similar to be natural, the floor gave it away though. It looked to be a single piece of black marble, a bit like what the snakes had but there wasn't any gold patterns etched into it or that odd green tinge. Just a solid piece of perfectly smooth black marble covered in a dry brown dust.

To one side was an opening to the outside world that didn't look that inviting and on the there was other a long corridor leading to a shimmering golden room. Down this corridor were a series of archways. 'This place kinda reminds me of a Gould home, you know what I'm talking about?'

'It's a lot like a Goa'uld temple, you're right Jack but it doesn't match any of their know styles.' Daniel seemed to look around for the first time, shaking off the concussion. 'From the looks of things and the age of the rock dust it would have to be an early example of their work.' He walked over to the carved door frames, taking a closer look at them.

Teal'c came back into the cave, he was walking stiffly and using his staff as a crutch. It was as if he was trying not to move his legs. Fighting down a smirk Jack nodded at the Jaffa. 'Where'd you go?'

Face set like stone Teal'c looked over his shoulder. 'Outside. There is nothing but brown rocks and dust. And a force field.'

'A force field?' Carter asked, her interest peaked.

'Unlike one I have ever seen before. It is invisible, my staff and several stones passed through it with little difficulty.' Teal'c explained.

Jack had an idea. 'Right, get this. Those silly lightning gun things overloaded the gate, like what happened to us in Antarctica and the second Earth gate. It spat us out here, close to Earth. Recognise the rocks Carter?'

She looked around, dull brown and uninteresting; 'Mars sir?' she asked disbelievingly, following the same train of thought. 'But then how are we breathing?'

'The force field T found. what if it's for the air?' Jack guessed.

Carter thought about that for a moment. 'It's possible sir. If the force filed was calibrated right it could hold oxygen in and let objects pass through. We have seen something like it before sir.'

'That's what I was thinking, but wasn't that a big glowing thing?'

'Maybe this is more advanced, if it's been running since before the rise of Goa'uld it would have to be. But where did they get it? The system lords don't have anything like that even now.'

'It's not Goa'uld.' Daniel spoke up from the doorway. 'It's too old and the language used here has very little in common with their early language. Very much like proto-early Egyptian. I think this is new discovery.'

'Is that a good thing?' Jack asked

Daniel pushed his glassed up his nose. 'Well from my point of view very. You see over the thousands of years the Ancient Egyptian civilisation developed their gods changed. At first we thought it was the System Lords and their usual power struggles. What if it wasn't, what if there were two alien races that the Ancient Egyptians met and merged them into their pantheon of gods.'

'Two alien races?' Carter asked. 'Isn't that a bit of a stretch'

'I do not think so Major Carter. It is possible.'

'Thanks for the vote of support Teal'c.' Daniel nodded and squinted at the writing. 'If I'm reading this right the race was called the Osirans. This was some sort of prison facility for one of their greatest criminals. Sutekh, an early name of Seth. Maybe his idol, or his predecessor.'

As luck had it Jack was facing Teal'c as Daniel was talking. At the name the tall Jaffa went as white as a sheet, 'Heard of him T?'

'The Destroyer of Worlds. Sutekh, last of the Osirans and scourge of the galaxy.' Teal'c's voice cracked.

'All right, dial the Alpha Site Daniel. We'll get back to the SGC that way.' Jack pointed out.

Of course the Arch-geek put up an argument. 'But Jack this is a major discovery...'

'Ahh,' He stopped his friend with a raised finger. 'First of all we're all battered and in need of a doctor. Second we've no supplies and those doors are wide open.'

'Jack who ever it was they had in here can't still be alive.'

Jack raised an eyebrow. 'We're talking what ten thousand years ago? More? His reputation is still "The Destroyer of Worlds" and enough to make Teal'c need the bathroom. I don't care if he's already dead, the prison doors are wide open. How many times do I have to say that. Let's. Go. Home.'

'Immediately.' Teal'c agreed quickly. Jack looked at him, he was looking from side to side panning with his staff open and ready to fire. 'Sutekh is said to be cunning, devious and without morals or pity. His vast magical powers could strip your mind from your body, turning you into an undead puppet. An extension of his will.'

'Okay' Jack stretched the word out, but the Jaffa wasn't finished:-

'Legends tell of his warriors. Tall men of metal, wrapped in bandages. Much like those of your mummified remains. Invincible and with an unappeasable appetite for death.'

Jack blinked. 'Undead mind controlled zombies leading armies of robotic mummies.' Worse case scenario you'd just need Dracula. 'Daniel: Gate. Now please.'

* * *

Daniel flipped through his notes again and looked around. 'I think Sam was right Jack. This is the place.'

'Sue-tec's prison?' Daniel didn't know if Jack had done it on purpose but it was irritating.

'Sutekh Jack and yes. This is his cell.' It looked like any other Egyptian tomb except it was remarkably well preserved. Oh the usual grave robbers, thieves and collectors had been in and stripped the place bare but there hadn't been the usual wanton destruction that often happened.

'So let's get this straight. The bad guy was here but the prison was up there.'

'Something like that.' Daniel took off his glasses. 'The pyramid on mars was just a transmitter focused at this tomb. Sam still thinks it was some sort of energy field to hold Sutekh in place down here.'

'So where is he?' Jack asked. It was a good question. Teal'c had refused to come anywhere near the place and had found the biggest gun he could to stand next to. Sam was happy examining the pyramid's properties using words like "Wonderfully simplistic" and "Impossibly simple."

Impossibly simple rang a faint bell and Daniel frowned. There was a threadbare, now practically worthless curtain rotting on its rails behind Jack. 'Move a second.' Daniel asked and pulled the curtain to one side. The original burial chamber was hidden behind it, as it was in just about every burial chamber ever found. 'Don't even think of it.' Daniel warned his friend about the obvious Oz reference.

'Would I do something like that?'

'Yes Jack you would.' Looking inside Daniel shone his torch around. A round room completely black with what looked to be a burnt out screen mounted into one wall and a high backed chair in dead centre. 'Here it is. Looks like whoever was here is long gone.'

'And we're still here?'

Daniel looked at his irritating friend who was toying with the curtain 'Yes we are. Someone must have been here when Sutekh escaped.'

'I think they were.' Jack plucked something that was pinned to it. 'A calling card?' It was a small card with a black slash running diagonally through it and a raised wax seal with a question mark embossed in gold taking up the middle. 'Did we have help?'

Daniel frowned. There were what looked a little bit like Ancient Greek letters in the corners, but there wasn't enough to make any sense of it. 'If so who by?'

End Martian Geometry

Authors note:-

Now the bread crumbs of the Doctor are being laid. Things are getting interesting, but first back to Rassilon...


	25. Winners And Losers

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Winners and Losers

Teal'c stepped forward, lowering and opening his staff in one smooth movement. 'We have no interest in games.' he told the floating head. Un-phased at his show of defiance it simply chuckled down at them.

'Interest or not the invitation was accepted.'

'Invitation?' Daniel Jackson and O'Neill asked at the same time. After a glance O'Neill added 'Couldn't you have just phoned like everyone else?'

Rassilon frowned 'That is not what I had in mind. Although in the interest of fair play I think I should out line the rules.'

Teal'c kept his staff ready, still his time with the Tau'ri had shown him not to shoot first, only last. 'You must return here by any means you so wish.' Rassilon continued. 'Crossing the Death Zone and besting any challenges that stand in your way.'

O'Neill looked around casually. Teal'c could tell he was looking for an exit, there was one to the left and an archway to the right. The archway was out of place, looking technological opposed to the ancient stonework the rest of the grand room was made of. After a moment O'Neill smirked up at the disembodied head.; 'Challenges in a place called the Death Zone. Gee I wonder what they could be. No, no, no wait. I have a pretty good idea already.' He said with bitter sarcasm. 'And the game is to see how long it takes us to die. Can't bad guys think of anything new.' Behind his back he gestured to Major Carter. A quick flick of his wrist, teal'c believed he was pointing out the technology.

'You are mistaken.' Rassilon said. 'The game is not to see how long it takes you to die, it is to see how you stay alive.'

'Hang on, game is the wrong word. This is a test, like rats in a maze.' Major Carter pointed out.

'We're not rats Carter.'

'No Jack, but she's right. The Anti-booby trap proves it. Or invitation.' Daniel Jackson said before turning to the head. 'Look I understand you want to know about us. We're peaceful explorers from the planet Earth, all we want is contact with people like yourselves. There's no need to test us.'

Rassilon watched him as if calculating. 'Fascinating, although an alliance between us is all but impossible. We may not interfere in your people.'

'But tricking us into these games of yours isn't interference?' O'Neill pressed. Teal'c agreed, this was interference of the highest order.

'You are but four from a world of billions.' The head said as if stating a fact. 'Your participation will not affect your worlds.'

Out of the corner of his eye Teal'c could see O'Neill's plan. With the three of them bombarding their captor with questions Major Carter was inspecting the arch. He couldn't tell if operated what projected the head or if it was the method of their arrival here.

'But it will be noticed.' O'Neill pressed on. 'We don't leave anyone behind, you can't just make us disappear without a trace. There will be something, someone who could find us.'

'Perhaps.' The head agreed and seemed to think about it for a moment. 'It is, however, very unlikely.'

It turned on Major Carter, not quickly but with an air of curiosity. 'As your companion will no doubt be able to attest, my technology is more advanced than anything you have encountered before.'

O'Neill muttered a curse and winced at the same time. 'Any luck Carter?'

She shook her head. 'It's like a transporter, I can tell you that much sir. More like a ring platform than Asguard beams, but other than that I can't make heads or tails of the circuitry.' The head just beamed a smile down at them.

Teal'c decided that without a better plan he might as well go with what he knew and fired his staff. The amber blast leapt from the split staff tip and lanced towards the head. Before it hit anything the energy bolt just stopped, much like a recording paused at just the right point.

The sound of their jaws dropping was almost audible.

The head still smirked. 'A desperate ploy.' and then it blew at the blast. Like extinguishing a candle the blast simply dissipated. 'Now that the conditions are met and it appears you have nothing more to say it is well past time we began.' It was as if the head had straightened up it's non-existent body. The rubies in it's crown caught some hidden light. 'Step before me, all of you and cast down your weapons. They will only hinder you.'

Teal'c wasn't about to do anything this Rassilon told him but he watched in horror as his arm obeyed. Dropping the staff with a solid finality, it was quickly joined by Tau'ri weapons. P90's and pistols. 'You may keep your knives, they are useful tools when employed correctly. Unlike your other weapons.

'Now turn and leave through the transport archway.' Like robots the four of them did as they were instructed, striding through the now faintly glowing arch and vanishing.

* * *

As soon as he had stepped through and into nothing Jack fell forward, tripping over his own feet and landed flat on Carter. That wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't for Teal'c being just behind him.

Fighting his way back to his feet Jack was very glad he had control over his body again. 'What the hell just happened?'

Daniel, who had been at the bottom of the pile up, got up with some help from the heavy Jaffa. He was covered in mud except for two patches where his glasses had been. 'I think it was something to do with his coronet. I could have sworn it was glowing right before we lost control.'

'I don't like being a puppet.' He said needlessly. 'And I really don't like the idea of running the puppet masters maze.'

Carter had taken a better stock of the situation. 'Sir look over there.' She pointed at a great big citadel on the horizon built next to a rocky out cropping. 'If I had to guess that's where we were.'

'...And we're going to have to get there.' Jack looked around himself. It wasn't what he expected. When he was in black ops there was a joint training mission with a bunch of scary SAS he was drafted to. They'd done the training in one of the most unpleasant places Jack had ever found in his life. Yorkshire moors.

It was constantly damp, with a low fog that meant you couldn't see more than ten feet in front of you. When it wasn't foggy it was raining, soaking through everything and shrivelling his feet up like raisins. Mud, jutting rocks and blind holes that were there just to trip you up. You practically had to swim thought some parts and solid ground would give way without warning. Out there, before him, was a horrible reminder of that god-forsaken week.

Just when he thought it couldn't be much worse there was a close rumble of thunder above them. 'Oh for crying out loud.' From the dark grey, overcast, sky came a bolt of purple lightning. Warned only by the prickling on the back of his neck Jack hopped to one side just in time for the bolt to flash boil a mud pond.

'What were the chances that was just bad luck?' Jack asked his team as another bolt detonated on a rock next to Carter. For a split second they looked at each other. When you work as a team you can anticipate your friends reactions, what they're thinking. However sometimes you didn't need that sort of bond. This was one of those times as they all ran like hell.

Driving them to the building the purple bolts relentlessly dogged their every step. Hitting rocks and setting fire to grass all too close. 'Split up!' Jack shouted and Teal'c took Daniel to the left while he and Carter went right. If some one was aiming these things at them. it would have to split it's focus.

Then it happened. Carter's leg vanished in a mud pit. With a muffled scream she fell. 'Carter!' He shouted, feet slipping in the mud.

'It's my ankle, keep going.' Rolling to one side she dodged one more bolt. Clawing at lose earth and grass Carter tried to find her feet when the last bolt struck her spine with pinpoint accuracy.

She screamed for a moment before a flash of light blinded Jack. Blinking spots from his eyes all the strength in his legs was lost.

Back bent in a way it never could in life the Major's body was charred black. Caked in mud and grass her face was twisted in pain, mid-scream. Empty eyes pleading for help.

End Winners and Losers.

Authors note:-  
How are they going to get out of this one? We'll find out later, first a little interlude featuring UNIT and General Hammond.


	26. United Front

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
United Front

Authors note.

I've wanted to get round to this for a while.

* * *

Major-General George Hammond, dressed in his full blue dress uniform, folded up the files and got off the private jet. A military jeep in dark green pulled up at the bottom of the steps with practised precision and two people got out.

The driver was a rather attractive young woman who looked all business escorting an almost elderly gentleman in old British service uniform. The muted brown and kaki green was stretched a bit as the bearded man wearing it was a little out of shape. 'Brigadier?' George asked extending his hand.

'Retired, although I'm afraid in this job that never seems to work out how you plan.' Lethbridge-Stewart shook George's hand. Politely, without a test of strength or any real friendship.

I know what you mean Brigadier. The SGC was supposed to be my easy swan song before retirement. I never thought I'd be still doing this for a living.'

Lethbridge-Stewart nodded, but kept his face neutral. If George was any judge of character this was the sort of officer you wanted in charge of men. He also didn't like something. 'I've heard this proposal of yours. I'm not sure I agree with it General, but it's not up to me.' he said plainly.

Take a little aback George got the feeling the officers opinion had a lot of weight. Idle talk about their ages was just to tell him how involved he was, Jack was right. This man was dangerous. 'You can't deny UNIT's in dire need of funds. The latest UN budget meeting didn't even give you enough to maintain your current staff.'

Lethbridge-Stewart shrugged and invited George into the Jeep. 'Geneva goes though these phases General.' He said as they pulled away. 'We've saved the world on a shoestring before, we can do so again. This oversight committee of yours would just get in the way.'

'We need a unifying command structure.' George pressed. 'Yes it may, at times, be inconvenient...'

'...To say the least.' Lethbridge-Stewart interrupted.

George winced 'Agreed, but I don't see any other way of doing it. UNIT needs funding even more than the SGC. We're the only real defence this planet has.'

'I wouldn't say that. There are others, a handful of civilian groups both sides of the Atlantic who do a good enough job under pressure.' To say the rug had been pulled out from under him was an understatement. Other than UNIT and the SGC there was no military group in the world set up to defend against alien attacks. It never even occurred to him to look for civilian organisations. 'Unfortunately they have the same problem the SGC is running into.' Lethbridge-Stewart continued. 'They were all, more or less, set up to defend against a single threat. In you're case the Goa'uld. Several times they've beaten them back but most of the time it's ended in a stalemate. Bare in mind Earth, for all its strength and bad luck, is never the main target in a war. We only have to hold them back. Do so long enough and other threats topple our enemies for us.'

George thought about that for a moment. 'Every Goa'uld we have defeated has been replaced with a more powerful, even worse one. To be honest we haven't had a chance to think what happens after we defeat the last one.'

Lethbridge-Stewart pulled a file out from the pocket on the back of the drivers seat. It had the SGC logo and classified stamped on it 'I believe your government plans to reveal the Stargate's existence without admitting the Goa'uld's existence.' This was news to George and he took the file. Flicking through it George was shocked that it not only outlined the SGC's eventual declassification but also suggested where his teams should be reassigned afterwards. His retirement was also signed of on.

'Where... where did you get this?' George looked at the back page and read the signature at the very bottom.

'Senator Robert Kinsey.' Lethbridge-Stewart said. 'His organisation, the NID I think you call it, has been trying to get control of your program for the last few years. Our ambassador mentioned it and we had a few friends in MI6 acquire that for us.'

'He can't be serious.' George burst out, looking at the reassignments. SG-1 was to be scattered across the planet. Jack to train cadets, Major Carter locked in Area 51, Dr Jackson was going to be thrown in to some dead end research job with Earth artefacts and Teal'c was to sent back to his people. Anyone who had ever supported any of them against the senator, their careers were literally thrown away.

'I don't think he is. Most of the report is focused on your futures. I've seen this sort of thing before. After your transfer a feasibility study or some such nonsense is going to prove that the declassification of the SGC is impractical.'

George knew exactly where this was going. 'And the whole project ends up right in Kinsey's lap.'

'Along with the most advanced transmat portal on the planet. I don't trust politicians and from what I've learnt about this one you'd have to queue up to hate him.'

'You've got that damn right.' George growled, as looked out the window it became a frown. The jeep pulled up next to his private jet again, they had just driven around in a circle.

'Let's be clear about this shall we General. This NID is a problem, might not effect UNIT directly, but sooner or later they won't be happy with just your little corner. This international oversight committee you're suggesting is to stop them as much as defend the planet.'

There was no point in hiding it so George just nodded and let Lethbridge-Stewart continue. 'It doesn't matter really. The brass in Geneva have already agreed, washed their hands of the whole lot of us and disbanded the old UNIT. The Unified Intelligence Task Force, as it's to be called, will have all the resources UNIT had and be under the command of this IOA.'

'Then... Then why did you request I come here in person?'

'I wanted to meet you, look the man I was dealing with in the eye. We might not be as fancy as you American lot but we've got the job done in the past. UNIT might have hit hard times but we can still do the job.

'I want full inclusion of UNIT in the set up negotiations, we're not some anchor around your neck.' He pointed out, never braking eye contact. 'We are allies and you're going to act like it.'

Without a moment's hesitation George agreed. This was the sort of man you wanted on your side. 'Deal.'

After shaking on it the Brigadier grinned 'You know when this is all over I might just be able to finally have some peace and quiet in my retirement, Doris is getting very tired of my "Playing Solder" as she calls it.'

George laughed. 'Brigadier I think you're a man I can trust.' Then an idea came to him.

* * *

Robert Kinsey was about to tear his office apart. He'd already searched his home high an low for the damn file. A couple of days ago it had vanished into thin air. The one hard copy of his back up plan and it was gone.

He was rifling through a desk draw when his phone buzzed. 'Urm senator, there's someone here to see you.' His air head of a secretary said. She sounded nervous for some reason.

Slapping the answer button he barked into the speaker; 'Is it the President?'

'No sir, its....'

'Then tell them I'm busy.'

There was a brief pause then a familiar voice with a slight Texas twang to it spoke up. 'Senator I would like you to meet a friend of mine. May we come in.' It wasn't a request.

Hammond. Oh God no, anyone but him, thought Robert urgently. Shoving the half dozen classified files he wasn't supposed to have back in the draw he caught his hand as it slammed shut.

Flexing it and thankful it wasn't broken Robert bit back a curse as he buzzed the old fool in 'General always a pleasure.' He said with forced brightness and then looked at his other guest. A cold knot of dread settled there. It was another old man, this one in a British Army uniform. If this guy was as big a pain in the ass as Hammond so help him.

'I'd like to introduce Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart of UNIT.'

'A pleasure to meet you sir, but I'm at a loss as to why you'd wish to see me.' Robert kept his poker face in place.

With little or no flourish the bearded man produced a file from under his arm and handed it over. 'I recently came across this. Believing General Hammond would want it back I gave it to him but he'd never seen it before, we were wondering if you could help.'

Robert Kinsey looked at it like it was a live grenade with the pin out. His mouth was suddenly very dry for some reason.

End United Front

Authors note:-

When Doctor Who came back and wanted to use UNIT the United Nations asked, politely, not to be included. As such the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce became the UNIFIED Intelligence Taskforce. It also got a shed load more resources and funding, becoming a much more serious and bureaucratic organisation. This is my little story as to how.

Another interlude before we return to Rassilon and the fate of Carter I think...


	27. Interlude 5: What Remains

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Interlude:- What Remains

Teal'c stepped out of the Chapp'ai. As the probe had indicated the museum it had been housed in was half destroyed. The concrete and metal broken. Black scorch marks decorated walls, support beams had been melted and long since cooled. Colonel Mitchell was just behind him; 'Looks like someone had fun. Anyone we know Jackson?'

'No, not that I can tell at least.' Daniel Jackson was looking at a plaque next to the gate. 'This is strange.'

'What?' Colonel Carter asked, looking up from her inspection of the DHD.

'Well the language is similar to English but there's a few differences. That's not what's strange. If I'm reading this right they found the gate on a boarder planet and brought it here.'

'So this was the home of a space faring race?' Colonel Mitchell asked rhetorically. 'That's cool, there might be something left we can use against the Ori.'

'Speaking of, where's Vala?' Daniel Jackson looked around.

'I will locate her.' Teal'c volunteered and left to find the former thief. It was not difficult as Teal'c found the woman outside, just standing there. Teal'c had seen destruction in his life, he'd seen towns an villages burnt to the ground and great cities destroyed, but there was something about what was before him. Something unquestionably vicious, a deliberate attempt not to convert or enslave. Simply to annihilate and the city stretched as far as the eye could see.

Pyramids of glass and crystal, shattered like broken hopes. Delicate towers of marble, cracked like broken bones. Teal'c looked out with equal parts fear and awe.

'I don't think there's anything left.' Vala muttered and then seemed to shrink into herself. Even Vala, with her legendary lack of tact, knew she had said too much.

'We should return to the others.' Teal'c suggested. As the pair of them made it back to the large room they found Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter inspecting something.

'On the other hand.' Vala nodded. 'What you got there Daniel?'

'It's a children's toy, at least I think it is.' he answered. Teal'c looked over his shoulder. It was a small furry canine with the remains of a pleasant face. Obviously for small children, computer components were falling out of torn seams along with rotted stuffing.

Colonel Carter turned it around in her hands 'It's advanced. I've never seen anything like it. It's got printed circuits and wires but way beyond ours.'

Colonel Mitchell approached . 'I thought Ancient technology used crystals, not wires.'

'They're not Ancients or Ori, but I still think they are human.' Daniel Jackson said. 'Or human like.' he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and moved off.

Colonel Carter frowned for a moment and reconnected a pair of wires. With a jerk the toy came to life. 'Greetings! Shall we count the time? There are a hundred Microns in a Centon, but did you know there are sixty Centons in a Centar?' it chirped happily. The Colonel disconnected the wires and the teaching toy shut down.

'Strange thing to see in a museum isn't it?' Vala asked.

It was Daniel Jackson who answered with a thick voice, 'Not really.' Teal'c turned to see what his friend had found. He was standing next to a pile of rubble, he'd pushed smaller scraps to one side to reveal a skeletal hand. It was small and unmistakably child like. 'They're not alone.' Daniel Jackson said still looking down.

Wordlessly Colonel Carter took the toy and gave it back to the long dead child. Teal'c understood the gesture and remembered the city outside, how many children were buried out there.

* * *

General Landry came down the stairs. 'What have we got Walter?'

'SG-1 sir' The almost mystically efficient sergeant answered. 'They've got a report through the MALP.'

Landry sighed; 'At last. Bring them up.' The screens above flickered and showed Mitchell. 'Colonel, you were supposed to call in half an hour ago. I've got SGs nine and seven suiting up.'

'Sorry sir we... We got distracted. Someone has totalled this place Teal'c agrees with me that it was orbital bombardment but there's been strafing runs, ground attacks. This is genocide General on a planetary scale. Bigger actually,

Jackson's found references to an alliance of twelve worlds in total. Not including moons or space colonies.'

'When did this all happen?'

Mitchell shrugged, 'We think it was somewhere between seventy and a hundred years ago. Whoever did this sir, they could have nuked the place, plague bombed it. Instead they went out of their way to make sure everyone was dead. We've found at least three mass graves. Women, children its they didn't care.'

Landry winced. 'The whole place feels like a graveyard.' Mitchell finished.

'I want you back home Colonel. You and your team need to give me a full report.' Then something came to him. 'Do we have a name for this planet?'

Yeah, we found it in a park. Under a burnt banner, celebrating peace of all things. The planet's name is Caprica.'

End interlude

* * *

Authors note:-

This little interlude was, of course, a visit to the original Battlestar Galactica (1978). Still, after many years, one of my favourites.

Disclaimer:-

I don't own Battlestar Galactica (1978) , that's Glen A. Larson and Universal. I think. I still don't own Stargate


	28. Harmless Fun

Of Gods, Men and Monsters  
Harmless Fun

Jack couldn't take his eyes of her. He knelt there next to the Major's dead body, Just a scant few minutes ago, while she was still alive, the look would have been enough to brake regulations. Now he didn't care, she was dead. No regulations or pointless rules could change that.

Daniel had enough presence of mind to cover her corpse with his jacket. It wasn't a good fit but it covered the wound. It was still there though, Jack could still see it when he blinked. Still remember the look in her empty eyes even though he had closed them for her.

'O'Neill we should be moving.' The Jaffa said soberly. 'The lightning may return.' Jack didn't look up.

Daniel disagreed. 'Don't think so Teal'c, it's done what it was supposed to. There probably other things out here anyway.' That, finally got Jack's attention.

'What?' he asked

'Think about it Jack.' Daniel pressed. 'Those bolts weren't drawn to us. Something, or someone, was aiming them. That's why they stopped as soon as Sam...'

Jack could feel himself getting angry. Death Zone indeed, more like Murder Zone. How were they supposed to survive something like this. It was like that floating head was unleashing the wraith of god just to play a game he didn't know the rules to.

'We can't leave her.' Jack stood up. 'We're getting out of here and taking Carter with us.' Picking up the Major's corpse Jack shifted his weight and started walking.

He might have left Teal'c and Daniel behind for a moment, but they were able to quickly catch up. Carefully Teal'c took the burden from him.

'I will carry her.' It made sense, the Jaffa was still the strongest of them. They had to be quick, if Daniel was right there was more than just directed lightening in this hell hole.

Between them and the citadel was line of rocky outcroppings. 'If we get to there we might be able to get around the cliff side.' Daniel suggested.

'Beats being out in the open.' Jack said, thinking tactically. He didn't know what was going to pop out from around them, but there should be some sort of cover. It might also be the best choice for an attack but the open was suicide.

They didn't run so much as walk fast, keeping one eye on the sky and another for pot holes and traps. When Daniel almost missed a mud pit Jack decided to change that plan. 'I'll watch the ground. Danny keep an eye on the sky, first cloud you see shout.'

Teal'c hadn't faltered in carrying Carter, but Jack could see he was getting tired. 'And what shall I do?'

'I don't think lightning's our only problem. If there is an ambush ahead I want to know about it. Between the three of us we can cover everything without splitting our attention.'

They nodded and what was left of SG-1 kept walking. Jack sheepherding Daniel from prat falls along the way, Teal'c scrutinising every shadow ahead and Daniel inspecting every passing cloud. Eventually, just by the out cropping Teal'c had to stop. It wasn't by choice, the going was getting more difficult as the moor's had given way to rock and shale. Teal'c footing gave way and he fell to one knee. 'I've got her feet.' Jack said as he took her boots and helped carry Carter's body to a flat ledge.

'I'll go ahead.' Daniel offered while they got their breath back. 'I'll find an easier way around.'

'Is that wise, Daniel Jackson?'

Daniel shrugged. 'Probably not but you need it. And I can move a bit better than you.' He didn't say why. He didn't have to. To get over this ground both Jack and Teal'c would have to carry her. If there was going to be an ambush of any sort they'd be heard a mile away. Someone scouting ahead would find a path or at least give them a warning.

'Right, Find a route and get back here, but if anything happens...'

'You'll kill me yourself.' Daniel finished and then glanced down at Carter. 'I'll be fine Jack.' he said after a moment. 'I don't want to lose anyone else either.'

With a nod of his head he let Daniel leave. It might have been a bad idea but it was the only one. Catching their breath Teal'c looked up at him. Carrying Carter was a mistake, they both knew it. They needed speed to get out of there. 'What do you think?' Jack asked.

Teal'c sighed. 'I to wish to give Major Carter the respect she deserves, but non of us may survive if we do not lighten our burdens.'

'Realties of war huh.' Jack winced. The big guy was right and as much as it hurt him to do so they had to leave her behind. Quietly he took her dog tags. 'We have to bury her.' That was easier said than done in the rocks, but a cairn wasn't out of the question and it was something to do while waiting for Daniel.

Trying to carve out a hollow under a rock ledge wasn't easy, but the rock was soft and crumbled well. With the butt of their knives the pair of them bashed out a space for their friend. Before they could see if she would fit a silver spear imbedded itself between them.

Biting back a curse Jack rolled back and looked for where it had come from. Above them what looked to be a featureless silver statue jerked around, it's elbow out wide the statue flicked it's entire forearm at Teal'c and another silver spear flew out.

It missed, but it also gave Jack an opening. Flipping his knife around he flung it with every bit of his strength at the... whatever it was. As the knife spun towards it's target the silver statue turned and jumped. Landing more than a dozen feet away.

Jack had never seen anything move that fast and before the knife had made it to where it had been the statue jumped again. Vanishing. 'O'Neill!' Teal'c shouted a warning just that fraction too late. It had jumped behind him. The whatever it really was picked Jack up with one hand and tossed him to one side like a sack of potatoes.

Jack reasoned he must have hit his head, as his vision swam back into focus he was left looking up at the featureless silver head. In it's hand there was another spear held high. This was it, there was no way Jack could move fast enough to get out of the way.

Then a shadow landed on the silver things back. It was Teal'c, his knife came over and found it's mark in the silver thing's chest with enough force to make the thing stumble. Jack's worst fears were realised when instead of dying like a good bad guy it shrugged Teal'c off and pulled the knife out.

'A robot.' Jack whispered as it jumped away again. Craning his head around Jack checked behind himself again but it wasn't there. It was nowhere to be seen.

'Where did it go?' Teal'c asked sitting up.

'Keep down! Jack hissed but his warning was too late. Something flat, about the size of a small plate suddenly appeared in Teal'c's chest. For a moment Teal'c didn't know it was there and just frowned at Jack. Finally the Jaffa looked down and saw it jutting half out of his torso. Mouth slightly open Teal'c fell to one side.

* * *

Rassilon watched as his Warrior Robot executed the large male. He had been impressed that the man had been able to damage his perfect killing machine. The damage wasn't vital and it's internal self repair would take care of it. Still be it desperation or courage it was an impressive feat.

There were, however, other things he had to focus on. A minor temporal fold and the dark skinned male was replaced with another tactile illusion. The original body, taken from the fraction of a second before the throwing disk hit, was instantly transmitted back to his tomb. Stunned Rassilon's guest looked around, he saw his female team member sprawled on the floor next to him.

Before he could speak Rassilon focused his coronet. 'Sleep now.' he commanded and the man struggled at first but was helpless, collapsing to the floor after a moment.

Of course he hadn't killed anyone, it was not necessary where the illusion of death was just as useful. More so in fact, if one of the survivors were able to make it their presence would be an advantage.

It wasn't that much of a stretch. In spite of the apparent casualties they had already gotten further than most. Evading the lightning by reasoning it's intent and then showing loyalty to their fallen comrade, despite the danger. They had shown caution in their approach to the rock face. Determination in their fight against the Warrior Robot.

All qualities Rassilon approved of. He turned his attention back to the game, waiting to see what happened next.

End Harmless Fun

Authors note:-

Okay that's two darkish, intense, chapters so the next one needs to be a bit of fun. I can't guarantee it will be, but I can tell you two things. The first is it's going to be Sam poking holes in bad science and the second is she's going to have some help with one of our favourite Time Ladies. Romanadvoratrelunder.


End file.
